Contaminated [Modern Kylo Ren AU]

Chapter III - I'm Not Mad

TW: Adult Language, Ambiguous References to Emotionally Harmful Romantic Relationships, Anxious thinking, Descriptions of Food, 18+

You huffed in frustration as you rolled onto your side to check the time on your phone. 5:36. Less than two hours to go before you needed to start getting ready for your first day. Pinching your eyes together, you rotated your body to face away from the window. It was still dark out, but you didn't have to look too hard to find the beginnings of the early morning rush. The owner of the newsstand on your block lifted the gate covering the counter, and a few breakfast carts were being rolled to their destinations--eager to meet customers on their commutes to work.

Your mind was racing; it's not like you normally got a good night's sleep, but, your first day of work was looming over your head like an anvil. The anxiety was crushing you, and at this rate you knew that more sleep was out of the question. "Fuck it," you mumbled to yourself, you grabbed your phone, defeated. Scrolling through your notifications, you laid back onto the flattened pillow.

Two new texts from the night before, one from your sister--Erin, wishing you luck on your first day, and the other from a number you didn't recognize--Hey. I heard you moved, how are you?

Sorry, who is this? You sent back, confused. Staring at your phone in anticipation, you watched as the ellipsis appeared and disappeared several times.

It's Tyler. Did you really delete me from your contacts?

You read the text as soon as it came through; your heart dropped into your stomach. Tyler. Of course. Did all men have a sixth sense about the worst possible time to reach out to their emotionally traumatized ex-girlfriends? You thought about turning on your read receipts and not replying. You thought about breaking your phone and getting a new phone with a new number--but, you didn't really have the money or time to deal with that right now. You settled on responding.

Your fingers pounded the screen of your phone with vigor--Why the fuck are you texting me? Of course I deleted your number. Then hit send, as you stood from your bed and placed your phone face down on your nightstand. Your hands were shaking. Why today of all days?

Now was as good a time as any to start getting ready for your first day of work. You peered through the dark apartment, taking notice that Jo and Liz were both still asleep. Liz was off today, and Jo was notorious for moseying into work well after 10 AM. Perfect, you had plenty of time to take a shower.

The water pressure was weak, and the walls of the tub were lined in various bottles of shampoos, body washes, and shaving creams. The shower still did the trick; the stream of water was warm and helped to provide you with a little bit of relief.

You tied up your hair in your towel and draped yourself in a plush robe. Most of your clothes were still packed away in boxes. Thankfully, you had the wherewithal to think ahead, and had packed a nice outfit in your overnight bag--a matching set consisting of a high waisted pencil skirt and strapless top in a soft cream color. You had planned on pairing it with an oversized black blazer, and obsidian booties.

You took your time getting ready, studying the light-purplish circles wearing under your eyes. Applying a light amount of concealer, you blended out your imperfections with your pointer finger. You put extra care in shaping your eyebrows, and strategically placed a light swab of bronzer on the apples of your cheeks. You left your hair to air-dry, wanting to emphasize your natural waves.

You expelled a breath of air, realizing your moment of blissful ignorance would have to come to an end. You picked up your phone gently, as if it might explode. Turning it over, you noticed that it was now just past 6:30, and saw that you had a new text from Tyler. I miss you.