An Unknown Feeling

1 / A Boring Routine

Kaden Smith

In my head, I'm the sick bastrad that doesn't know what they want in life and I can't do anything but survive. I definitely put up this great show that my head sits straight on my shoulders but, they do anything but that not for a long time now anyway. How would people react if they knew the real me? Would they spit in face when they see what a distasteful person I truly am.

Of course no one would ever find out, being an actor in my own life is what I am great at. No one that has known me has ever seen threw my mask. I bet you are reading this this and thinking "Wow this guy really must a narcissist or something." but it's just the  opposite, isn't it?

Today will it be like every other day? I really don't want to get out of bed but I have no choice I have to. I need to finish my work, I can't even try to skip any of my deadlines cause then I know for sure that I will start to spiral and lose focus. You see I'm a writer, I don't write because I like to do it but because it's the only way I can survive without having to be around people. Its not to say that I can't get along with people, I just find them highly irritating and in-order to survive I must not show people how distasteful I truly am. When I do have to force myself to be around people I can be quite the charmer or something close to charming.

Having to wake up everyday and do the same things  it has become quite boring but what else can a man do. It is six in the morning, I look up at the ceiling in the mirror above my bed watching the white sheets covering my body than I look at how worn out my face looks. My slightly long brown hair covering my forehead, the bags under my hazel brown eyes and the beads of sweat coating my light brown skin. I know what your thinking why do I have a mirror above my bed? Well of course every time I bring someone to bed I want them to see everything, it makes everything more exciting that way; I'm guessing you get my point.

Now for the reason of my worn out looks is the shitty sleep paralysis I have seemed to developed from my youthful days. I'll fully explain my tragic back story that caused my dysfunctional sleep patterns another time. As of right now I am really hungry and well I guess that means it is time to start this shitty morning.

I get up from the bed, I start with the same boring routine; brushing my teeth, showering, get dressed in my running attire, then prepare scrambled eggs with toast and fig jam, black coffee and a fresh orange. To say the least I'm sick of eating the same thing but I lack any true motivation to try and change these small habits now.

After my semi appalling breakfast I go into my office and try to sort out the final draft papers of my new book. I pick up the phone and call the lady from the publishing agency to come a collect my work; six rings and no answer, I hung up. Why the hell didn't she pick up doesn't she know my schedule, I need to go for my run right now and she's not even here to do her damn job, pathetic. What's the point of her harassing me all this time and now she won't even pick up my call. Oh well I guess she will come pick them up while I'm on my run. The lady I mentioned already has keys to my place for this exact situation, which is why I didn't bother contacting her again.

I gather the rest of the papers and put them in the envelope, I take a post it and write a note "Next time pick up your phone before I hang up." I go place the envelope by the table next to the front door as I am leaving my house to go for my run. I usually run for about an hour each morning but not today I need an extra mile or two cause I will defiantly lash out at someone today and that won't be good. Remember when I told you that I have to keep up with my daily boring life or I will spiral, I really mean it, you see I can't really handle my own anger due to my lack of sleep and other things but when I get angry and things aren't done a certain way, lets just say I don't handle it too well. I've tried very hard to try and maintain my rage but if I am being honest only two things really help and that is running and sex.

As I'm running I feel the hot sun beat down on me making me sweat more than I have to and causing the white fitted shirt I'm wearing clinging to my body. Even my hair is starting to bother me. My hair is short but just long enough for me to tie it back; I probably should have done that. I am forced to just keep pushing my hair back when it gets in the way. I definitely don't want to stop running now. I've been running over a little two hours now and I've managed to get in a few more miles.

My head feels a little bit more clear now as I jog back home, and too my surprise I see a man with a cute plump ass bending over looking through my windows at my front door. Hmm, maybe this cute ass has a nice face to match. I stopped running and jogged over and then as I get closer I slow down and walk up behind him, I get close but not too close. I don't think he heard me cause he's still bending over wiggling his hip in-front of me. If I didn't go on that run I would have no self control right now. I finally say "And who might you be?" looking down at his ass.

He gasps and turns around quickly bumping into me, his head knocking my chest, he slowly looks up at my sweat drenched face. I hug his waist, "Woah watch out little one" I say smiling. He stammers out " I'm uh....looking for Kaden Smith, sir." He pushes himself back out of my hold a slight blush forming on his cheeks. I look at his black wavy hair coming down the sides of his face  right under his chin, his greenish blue eyes and his milky white skin that looks like it would bruise easily and his small frame. I watch as his small hands hugs a small stack of books against his chest. I immediately think 'He is just my type'.

.......... hey guys this is my first time sharing one of my books on here. I do hope you guys are going to enjoy this and I would love any feed back that you have. Please leave a comment and vote.<3 <3