Our Little Secret

Tape 1

Hello? Is this tape on?

1...2...3...4...5....6...7...8...9...10...11...12...13...14...15... I counted as I drug the blade across my wrist. I watched as the ruby red blood dripped from my wrist. it doesn't hurt. It feels good. Each cut is just a simple reminder of my flaws and how unloved I am. why do I do this you may ask? Simple. Because no one cares if I die. In fact everyone wants me to. I have no reason to live. I have no friends. My family hates me. My teachers give me crap everyday and I'm falling every class.

My dads a druggie. He drinks at least 7 beers on a good day, smokes about 10 packs of smokes a week. That's the easy stuff. He uses crystal meth and herion. He sells the stuff to. He buys the crappy stuff then adds a substance that I can't say or spell to it as a filler so it's worth more. As for my mom? There was one. She left for Vegas when I was 5 to work at some top notch club to be a stripper. Haven't heard from her since. So ueah great family life huh?

So as you can tell I don't have inspiration to keep living. There's no escape for me. I can't decide what's worse though. School or home, if you could even call it that. At school I get beat up, called emo, fag, goth and my daily dose of self confidence from all the people telling me to kill myself. I've even had food thrown at me. As for home, besides the wonderful influence my parents have given me(note the HEAVY scarasm), I get beaten a lot.

I come home from pain just to get beat. Think about how it felt when you were spanked as a child. Ok, now multiply that by about 20. Now add your whole body. Done? Hurts a lot doesn't it? That amount of pain you just imagined is like a pat on the back to me. Not kidding either. I would be lucky if it was just that. Been raped to. Oh you though the beating was it? oops... what a shame.

Warning you should probably stop listening now. My story ain't pretty, hasn't been for my entire life. Now you sick people who enjoy hearing about this your gonna have to wait for more. A girl can only take so much at a time you know? I'm not saying bye because I'm not actually leaving. So see you next time? Whatever...