Our Little Secret

Tape 3

Tape 3

Hi and welcome once again as we prepare ourselves to dive into the my life story. Get ready to go to deep places as we explore the ups and downs of my life.

What?

To much like like some self absorbed talk show person?

Agreed.

But I will say it was creative on my part. Enough of this stupid stuff lets get into the story. Can't keep you waiting forever can I?

Because I was so young during this segment I have decided to combine the time period from my birth to age 4. This seems to be a reasonable thing to do to me at least because...

1. I was so young that I couldn't do much

2. I was so young that I just dont remember what all what happened.

3. Who honestly wants to hear a depressing tale of someone so young. I mean there are some twisted people out there but if you enjoy that then please get help.

Im not sure the exact details but I always knew that I was different. Even though I knew no other kids my age I just felt wrong. Like this wasnt the life I was suppposed to be living. I never went on a playdate with other kids like I saw through the crappy signal on the tv that my people who are called my parents used to watch the game which I feel was just an excuse to get drunk. My parent never associated with other peole outside of their "group".

Now that I have had the chance to think over it all I realize that its actualy a blessing that the people in their group didnt have kids because then they might have been in the same place as me. Im not sure what word would exactly describe my life correctly, if there is even one in existence. If you know one please enlighten me.

Moving on...

I remember days when I would look out the window and see mothers walking with their kids down the street . They looked so happy. Like they don't need anything else in life. It seems that having each other is all they needed. And I'm not gonna lie. This was a ghetto neighborohood. Not to be insulting its just simply a fact. I lived there so I can say that.

I asked my brother one time before when he was a normal human if there is such a thing, if i would ever get to go on a walk with mommy and daddy like that. He calmy replyed as you need to do with a small child that no I never would because they don't care about our happiness.

At first i was very confused and didn't understand how people could be so mean. Such a naive little girl I was. I never went to pre-K or preschool or whatever people called it. Im actually realived that I didn't. Try figuring out what to bring to show-and-tell. Your dads molly? And try explaining all your bruises. Ill let you figure out on your own how to explain that. Ill give it to you now. You can't. no good lie can cover it up. Ive been beaten my entire life so there is new and fading scars to so you couldnt simply say that you fell off your bed in the middle of the night and hit your dresser.

Thats all there really is to tell. Oh how i miss those simple times. Well until next time i guess.

Whatever