What happens when you fall in love with a celebrity? A celebrity who has no idea about your existence. Why does every action of his bother you? Is such love possible?
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It was eight a.m. when I landed in London after a long flight. Completing all the formalities, I walked towards the exit only to be engulfed in a tight hug by my mom whom I'm meeting after six whole months.
My Maa, Kanishka Sahani, an event planner by profession. I was born in London and moved to India when I was two years old for my father, Anirudh Sahani, got a business proposal there. We were not very rich, not very poor either. My family consisted of me, my adopted brother, Saahil and my parents. Yes, consisted.
Unfortunately my father passed away two years ago, leaving my Maa, six year old Saahil and me behind. Soon afterwards, we lost our business for I couldn't run it since I was only a second year student. However, Papa left behind enough funds for us to complete our education whatsoever.
After his death, Maa couldn't stay there as she missed him terribly. Hence, she moved back to London, where she was born and brought up. I decided to stay back till I completed my undergraduate degree. Then Maa convinced me to complete my Masters from LSE and hence, here I am.
I settled inside the passenger seat while Maa moved to the driver's side. Picking up the newspaper from her side, I turned the page to the business section only to be shocked.
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Best Businessman of India, Shivaay Singh Oberoi is all set to tie the knot with childhood sweetheart Tia Kapoor on the seventeenth day of next month. The news was confirmed by Mrs. Pinky Singh Oberoi, the mother of the groom.
He made his decision so soon. Well, I saw it coming. He himself said marriage will take place with her only. But next month, the seventeenth which means 17th January, his birthday. Wow.
I was still lost in my own world till Maa shouted all of a sudden making me flinch, "Anu, where are you lost?" I looked at her in shock, "Sorry, Maa. I was thinking about something. How long do we need to reach home?" I asked her. "Around ten more minutes."
Sighing, I looked out of the window watching the snow covered roads. Soon we reached home and I directly went to Saahil's room to surprise him. "Surpriseee!" I shouted while he looked at me with jaw dropped before running towards me and hugging me tight. I missed this little cutie of mine so much.
The whole day passed with Maa pampering me and Saahil teasing me saying that I'll get fat. But not for one moment, did his thought leave my mind. I wonder myself at times, why am I so stupid? I'm attached to someone who can never be mine. Today, he announced his marriage, tomorrow he'll announce their pregnancy and later the arrival of their baby. He doesn't even know my name. He loves her.
I lied on my bed thinking about these as tears filled my pillow. I remember seeing him for the first time when he came as a chief guest during my undergrad orientation. Watching him speak about business with so much love, I was inspired. What started as idolising him as my career inspiration turned deeper everyday. Every time I saw him somewhere, I wanted to approach him. But my anxiety kicked in.
I saw the way he loved his family, his brothers. I saw the way he was praised by his uncle and father. I saw their pride. To add to it, Papa too praised him all the time while they worked together. However, we never met. I knew I fell in love deeply when he announced his engagement with Tia. They looked perfect together. They were of the same class. They were made for each other.
No matter how many times I tried to make myself understand, I failed. Hell, I even started to drink karva kaali coffee just because it's his favourite. Only God knows how much I've cried to Him to ease me off this illogical pain. To help me get over someone who isn't even aware of my existence. Yet till date, it never goes away. It was so much easier to get over my boyfriends in the past, but this. But now, it must go away as soon as possible.
I got off the bed and walked to my cupboard to take out a box. I opened it and smiled looking at the newspaper cutouts on him, his photos. With newfound courage, I walked downstairs with the box and sat on the ground of the living room near the fireplace. One by one, I put all the cutouts in the fire. Watching his photos and my love getting burnt in the fire, I reminisced the previous night.
Flashback
I sat inside my car and asked my driver to drive me to the airport. I was finally leaving for London. Masters was just an excuse, I just wanted to run away from the city which made me fall in love with someone unattainable. Stopping midway at Starbucks, I took an espresso to go. Some habits die hard after all. Especially, in love.
On the way towards the airport, as we were crossing the beach, I saw a man sitting on top of a rock alone. It took me no more than ten seconds to recognise who it was. I took a deep breath and asked driver to stop the car. I was leaving today with no idea of when I will be back. So, I decided that for once in life, I must face my fear and my love.
My anxiety started kicking in as I walked towards him but I wouldn't stop today. Inhaling deep, I walked towards him and held his favourite coffee towards him. He was smiling with his eyes closed but turned to me as soon as the aroma of his favourite blend hit his nostrils.
Getting his permission, I sat beside him. He was shocked at how much I spoke. Well I do speak a lot, only with close friends and family though but normally I'm quite shy. I don't know how I was being myself in front of him. He caught me staring at him as well, which made me blush.
Listening to his words, that his mother wanted him to marry as soon as possible, my heart dropped. However, I composed myself quickly and smiled at him. When he talked about marriage, and how it will 'only' happen with Tia, I was breaking. I was mentally chiding myself for being so absurdly in love with him.
I explained him about love, composing myself. Papa's memory brought tears to my eyes which I bet he noticed. He didn't know who's daughter I was since we never met. He couldn't even attend his funeral as he was in a vacation with Tia. However, he did send his condolences through his brothers, Om and Rudra.
I realised if I stayed longer, I'll burst into tears since I'm irrevocably in love with this man who can never be mine. Hence, I got up to leave. As he wished me a safe flight, I turned back and left towards my car. As soon as I turned, tears escaped my eyes. I wanted to see him for one last time but didn't dare to. Chanting to myself that I'm strong and I can do this, I made my way towards the airport and boarded the flight to my home, now.
