Between Somewhere and Nowhere

Exit to Eden (Lilith)

Having been unable to sleep all night, Lilith squinted as dawn introduced the sun back into the sky, and pulled her heavy body off of the couch with a groan. Moving into the kitchen, she flicked on the kettle and dumped the requisite amount of coffee grounds into the french press. Leaning her hip against the counter as she waited for the water to boil, Lilith ran her hands through her unruly mane with a deep sigh. For a brief flicker of a moment she doubted her decision to bring Mary back.

"Will it be too much to forgive?" Lilith reflected on Mary's surprising reaction to learning how Adam died, how it hadn't phased the mortal woman in the least, as if she'd already been through so much trauma that the knowledge of even more was just a simple building block nestled within the teetering tower of her overall mental health.

Leaving Mary in Limbo has become non-negotiable for Lilith and she'd assumed that bringing her home and holding her safely hostage in her own surroundings would bring far more comfort than distress. If she couldn't convince Mary to forgive her, she would leave the woman alone to exist in her cottage in peace. The demoness was not interested in keeping Mary against her will or bending the woman to suit her needs as that would have negative effects on Mary's purity, the exact reason why Lilith brought her back from Limbo in the first place.

"By surrounding myself in her light, I may be able to successfully banish the Dark Lord. Blinded by the light that surrounds me, I would be lost to him and maybe I too would finally be safe. Am I worthy of saving? Will Mary think I am?" Lilith blinked back the moisture pooling at the corner of her eyes and pulled two mugs down from the cupboards.

Lilith had been groomed to believe in her wickedness, her perceived depravity, from the moment she refused to submit to Adam until the moment Lucifer had killed Mary's Adam. She'd been demonized and vilified throughout her entire history and she'd grown to become the horror men set her out to be. WIthin Lucifer's grasp, Lilith had never considered any other possibilities and she'd been fairly satisfied with her position in life. As years went on, however, Lucifer's promises became even more hollow and she grew wary, losing confidence that she would ever have what she wanted. When Adam treated her with kindness instead of cruelty, she was horrified to realize just how unfamiliar that felt and in that moment, she began to want more for herself.

Turning at the sound of the kettle, Lilith moved her face away from the steam rising and watched as the tiny black flecks danced within the bodum. She was focused so intently on the swirling of the coffee and her own thoughts, she didn't hear Mary enter the kitchen, nor did she hear the faint whoosh warning her of what came next. Searing pain radiated from between her shoulder blades and she spun around to see Mary's shocked look as she reached up to feel a letter opener protruding from her back. Carefully studying Mary's face, Lilith knew this was the only moment she would have to tug on the mortal's compassionate heartstrings, the guilt of what had just occurred would be the door the demoness needed to worm her way into Mary's heart.

Lilith forced her legs to buckle, falling dramatically to the ground, bringing her hand up to drag across the counter and take the coffee mugs with her in a crashing crescendo that emphasized her fall. Grimacing as she hit the floor, Lilith allowed a lengthy groan to utter from her lips as she positioned her limbs across the tile floor to appear splayed and closed her eyes. A long moment of silence passed and Lilith began to think that Mary really did want to kill her and felt no guilt whatsoever but then she felt the woman sink to her knees alongside her.

"Ohhhh noooo....oh God no....what have I done.... No no no." Mary muttered, anguished, and Lilith felt as she tried to press a dishtowel against the bleeding wound. Inwardly Lilith rolled her eyes but she laid still, allowing a few more beats to pass, a bit more blood to spill, ensuring that Mary would sink deeper into despair so that when she finally realized Lilith was immortal, she would be relieved. The last thing Lilith wanted was an endless cycle of attempts on her life.