Jump. Jump. All I need to do is jump. Everything would be over once I jumped. It just takes one step.
I looked out over the bridge, then back down at my feet. Bridge, feet, bridge, feet. It was probably about 300 feet high, definitely high enough for an instant death, you wouldn't even feel the pain. I looked down at my feet once more, the shoes I always wear were broken and ratty. The laces were stringy and the soals had multiple holes in them. They were the only shoes I owned and I've had them for about four years, I haven't been able to afford another.
Everyone was so unaware. The people around me at this moment, but also all the people that aren't here right now. That's one of the most aggrivating things about this place. People make fun of you, steal from you, leave you, fuck you over, break your heart. People do the most horrible things to other people, but they don't even know what they're going through. They barely even know who the hell they are. I hate this place. I hate this place. I want to be somewhere else. I want to be with Rony and Mom. Rony was my best friend and mom was too, until they both got shot at the same time. I lost everything when they died. I gave up on everything. Everything worsened that was already unbearable to begin with. I tried to save them, I really did. But they were both already dead right when the bullet touched their skin. I already tried to overdose multiple times, even before they died. But the white bracelets doubled after their deaths, but I would never get one again because after I jump, there'd be no point in saving me and putting me in a psychiatric hospital again because I'd be dead right as I hit the water.
The wind blew, causing me to come back to reality as my body swayed. My legs were like jello, I felt like even if I didn't jump I'd at least fall. People were around me everywhere, but none of them knew, none of them knew what was going through my mind. None of them knew the feeling that was traveling throughout my body, how I could feel the blood pumping into my wrists and how my body felt completely dead but filled with energy, adrenaline. People talked and cars honked, but I stayed silent. I didn't need to cause commotion. There would be plenty of commotion after this, but I wish there wouldn't be. I don't want people to notice me, I don't want to be noticed. I want to dissapear and I finally would, I just had to take one step.
I picked up the heel of my right foot.
"Just do it." She said. "Nobody needs you, nobody wants you, why do you think everyone leaves you. You're useless. Do everyone a favor and jump."
"I know. I'm sorry. I love you." I whispered back.
"Sweetheart, it's okay. Just jump." Her hot breath tickled my ear, shooting chills throughout my body. "It'll all be over. You will never have to feel pain or sadness again. Jump."
I stretched up to the tip of my toes, then back down, repeating the cycle. I raked my fingers through my hair which slowly traveled down to the inside of my pockets. I closed my eyes and reached my foot forward, taking one last gulp of air.
"What are you doing?!" A distressed and rapid breathing voice calls out.
I turned around. Why did I turn around. I should have just ignored it. They wouldn't have been able to stop me. I could have just done it and I wouldn't have to question anything. I just lost my chance. But something about that voice intrigued me, made me want to direct my full attention to the person who owned it. She was beautiful, just as beautiful and fascinating as her voice. Her eyes were dark brown and frantic as they traced up my body, stopping at my face.
She grabbed my hand, her fingers soft and cold as they came in contact with my rough skin, but I jerked away.
"Are you okay? Do you need me to call the hospital? What were you thinking? Okay, I'm going to call the hospital. Do you need to sit down? How about we get off the bridge and sit down. Is that okay with you? What's your name? The hospital will need to know your name. How abou-"
