Pristine

Chapter 9 - Feng shui

Dear Journal,

Today was the board meeting.

My instructions were that there was no given timeline on when I could expect to get back to the school. Many of my friends, former friends, were more concerned with alienating themselves from any touch point in connection with controversy, myself included.

I entered my office today for the first time in a long while.

It was left pretty much intact. Some paperwork tossed around, normally that would drive me nuts, I wouldn't be able to function with that kind of scattered mess, but the police will do what they want when they have a warrant. I don't what they were looking for. I punched a man in his throat, I didn't empty his bank accounts...

But the feng shui of the room was still in proper form. The five elements: earth, wood, water, metal, and fire.

Each of them still represented in what was once my personal space. It helped to calm me. It helped make me feel connected to the world. I reveled in these systematic ways to bring order and peace to my life. They acted as my restraints.

I collected the papers from my rosewood desk (Earth element) and stacked them neatly. The earth element is about self care and boundaries. My desk was my temple. Thus, If things were not in their proper place then they lose their purpose. And until they are returned I can feel them call to me. For as long as I can remember I've been trying to silence and soothe those voices. I'd feel extreme guilt if I didn't help them. Everything out of place felt like it needed my help. I could try and turn away, but I still felt them call to me.

"Help us please. Please fix me."

I spent so much time tidying as a child. As an adult it is no different. So it pained me to see my spider plant (Wood element) groaning with thirst. I had to water her, she was my wood element in the room. Wood is the element of growth, healing and immortality. I hid in the office with the lights off, and once the bell rang, students settled into their classes. Only then was it safe to bring her back to life. Only then did she stop screaming.

I had a small sofa for guests. In front of it a dark steel circular coffee table (Metal element). Metal is the element of beauty and precision. A circle is infinite. Steel is strong. I always felt I had to be strong for my students. I would invite their problems to shared over that very table. I wiped it down the best I could still with the lights off.

I could not see my peaceful beach photograph with the lights off (Water element). I sat at my desk just trying to feel in control of my world again. That was until the door swung open.

I turned to the twin desk lamps, flipping them on since I was now caught. Light is a good source of Fire element in a room, along with colors of red, yellow and orange. Fire is the element of passion in a room.

And there was Principal Stein, asking what I was doing.

I told her I had to retrieve something, and I was telling the truth. I remembered I had stored a photo of Diana when she acted as the lead in her middle school musical. She was fantastic in the role, a natural stage presence. I had offered to get her voice lessons to enhance her performance after hearing her practice at home on one occasion. She stopped practicing at home and started going to her friends houses in the theater group. I was still proud of her. The photo was a signed picture of the cast bowing in a row on stage. She eventually came around since she was so happy with her experience. She signed it "I hope I made you proud mom." She did, so I had to come back for it. I was rushed off the premises the day after the incident. They said they mailed everything in the office to our house. I knew they didn't. I know every single thing that sat in that office by heart. It all had a purpose.

Stein sat down on the sofa. "You aren't supposed to be here Christine."

"I know." I told her. I just came for this. I will follow protocol.

And the presence of Principal Stein, acting Superintendent Stein, was a new element in the room that caused the whole room to lose its sanctity. The whole room started screaming.

I left shortly after and bid her a sad farewell with my head down.

---

I wanted to also tell you about the suspect cars I have been seeing in the neighborhood.

Silver El Dorado

License Plate # JHD 762

It sat in front of our house for at least an hour. The driver was a middle aged male. I couldn't tell if he was on the phone, but he had the build of a cop or a killer. When I finally got his plate down with binoculars he sped off. Very suspicious.

Blue Toyota with childish spoiler

License Plate #XYY 12A

A couple was fighting in the car. Their horn blared as they scrapped inside. To not attract more attention they decided to attack each other in the middle of the street. I don't know who they are or what their purpose was, but they most certainly were the wild type, capable of anything.

White Sedan (couldn't catch the make of the car) with utilities branding

License Plate #MG 8372

This was the worst one of them all. He didn't have the proper uniform of a technician. No tool belt, just a branded hoodie. He looked liked a teenager too. I could see him going door to door with some sort of hand sized detector of some sort (maybe for gas) asking if he could be let in. The whole scene didn't have any sort of sense of legitimacy. He could rob them blind. Or her could be what I was looking for.

ThE ClEaNiNg CrEw

The person or person that left me a threat of a note. Perhaps, the ones responsible for setting off my motion censored lights in the backyard too. When I checked I never caught anyone there. Or maybe they were the ones responsible for my garage door being left wide open that I noticed grabbing the mail. Did they somehow have the garage code? Or maybe it was also them that left my backdoor swinging in the wind. It's like they are toying with me.

I will put a stop to this. There is so much to fix. But I will fix it all.

-Christine