Elsa Shelby

Moving to May

Running to the unkown was this moment I called. Something you want to know but at the same time you scared of what you gonna about to find out. I was stuck in that feeling and all it said that it will break my heart. I couldn't still understand why they hided for me. Was I really the "uneeded" family part? Was I just that worthless to tell me that? My own family... lied in my eyes without any reason at least I didn't saw any reason for it.

When I stood infront of the bar everything went for me in slowmotion. Like in a film scene; the people walked slow around, there are talking but I don't hear a sound. The moment of truth but was I'm ready for it?

"Don't walk back Elsa." My inner voice wook me up. "Show you are a part of family." Wow for the first time my inner voice was serious. Please can we clap for it? But yeah my inner voice was right again. If I kept that to myself how long will they lie into my face?

After breathing a long breathe out I went in. Tommy was at the front and Michael stood there infront of him. There was something going on in the meeting. I could see that. Tommys face was more colder than before. Whatever is happening I came at a wrong time or maybe a good?? Tommy was the first that recognise me coming with his looks Michael turned his back to me. I saw Michael avoiding to look at my face. Also Arthur looked different. He currently looked at Tommy with a worried look. Hey what was happening here?

A heavy silence was in the bar. I felt I was uneeded here. I broke their meeting but if I didn't come it was like something would happen worser. Those unkown silences scared me always.

Tommy was the first to say something. "Elsa? You need something?" Really? Was saying a little welcome that hard?

"No can't I just join the meeting?" I said knowing I never joined their meetings. Wait that was my first meeting interence and I'll make a drama scene about it now. Ofcourse Tommy stared to me without winking. He wasn't wrong about that I even couldn't believe I'm saying that so...

I stared to him back with a serious face. For just letting him know I wasn't joking. "Yes Elsa you know you are a part of the family. If you want to say something please share with us."

"I was wondering." I started to speak. "Like you said I'm a part of the family, than why you are lying to me?" He frowned his eyebrows to let it see he didn't understand. For make it clearer I talked further. "Yes I'm wondering why you all are lying to me. Why you never say that to me that you were married?" Than I turned to polly who was turned into a statue. "And why you said that Charlie is Lizzie's son instead of Grace?"

I felt my tears coming and Tommy did it only worser. "Elsa please sit." He tryed to take my arm but I went back. "No I don't want to sit I want an explaination. Why Tommy? Am I that worthless to tell that you gonna get married or that your wife is dead? Was it that hard to write "I gonna get married here your invite?" Nobody said a word. Tommy didn't look in my eyes anymore and Aunt Polly tryed to calm me. But it didn't help. I was to angry on them.

"What's wrong with you that knows everything to say on, that always makes the rules? The only thing is hurting people that's what you do." The last part I shouted to his face. Nobody ever dared to shout at the Tommy Shelby but I do. I didn't care if people was watching me. I didn't care my Aunt Poll's words.

It was enough I couldn't stay here any longer. I was a weight for my family. I was the part that they didn't want to see. I was their flaws. Before going I said my last words. "I apologize mister Shelby for destroying our meeting. I'm sure you have more important things to think than this." and I left the drama behind me.

I runned as fast as I can. So fast that nobody could get after me. I didn't need anyone now. They putted me in the corner so all I have to do is accepting this...