Life Through A Lens

You Made Me Feel Safe

ISABELLA'S POV

I laid in bed with Enzo and Nez, they both not left my side since Ian carried me in the house. My head hurt so bad from all the screaming and crying. And the rest of my body was too heavy to move, I just watched as Ian and Paul walked in and out checking on me every so often. 

I can't beleive he got out... and he lied his way out and I'm in the wrong for doing my job. For trying to carry on with my life it made me a liar like I wasn't affected by it but they never saw the countless nights I stayed awake, or the panic attack before opening VS because I was so scared that someone would grab me the way Matt did. They were there for the 3 hour shower where I scrubbed my body making it bleed ust to get his touch off me. They didn't see all that. Because I pulled myself together in the media apparently i'm fine. And I am for the most part I have bad days and I had good but What he did to me would never heal... 

My phone kept going off notification after notification it was hard to even think and sort through what I had done tonight. I kicked a door down and punched someone in the face. I think I might have hit Ian and Paul at some point too and my car was still in Matt's drive that I would have to go pick up at some point meaning I'd have to go back there and now the adreniline has gone it's making me anxious I'm going to have to be around him again. 

My phone was now ringing and I picked it up and threw it across the room. It was so loud. I'm sure it broke because the minute it hit the wall it stopped making noises like it had for the passed how ever long it's been.

"Bella?" Ian said clearly hearing the noise. "I just wanted it to shut up." I say not sitting up from my laying position everything was too heavy. I just wanted the bed to swallow me up. "Okay." he moved out of my view. "It's broken." "Good... Don't want to talk to anyone." "I know but I called your therapist, she's waiting down stairs for you." I didn't have the energy to argue with him so I just cloesed my eyes hoping he'd leave. "Bella you need to speak to someone. You've been in bed for two days, you've not moved, or showered or spoke..." He trailed off. 

"Can you just tell her I'll see her next week." I say manging to get the energy to roll over away from him and cover my head with my arm blocking out the sun light. "Baby." he was in front of me again I could see him through the cracks my arm had made in my view. "Please." "I don't want to talk... I don't want to talk to her." "Will you talk to Paul, or neens." "No I just want to lay here and figure it out." "But you can't figure it out on yourself." "Can you just tell her to go please?" I said more sharply now sitting up. He was croached in front on the bed where my head was laid. "You need to go talk to her... Please." He said looking at me his blue eyes were cutting through me and i knew I was hurting him. 

"Fine." I said having other plans. I got up off the bed and tied my hair up putting my feet in my trainers that were beside the bed, the tile floors on my feet in the kitchen were always cold so this was a normal thing for me to do. I went down the stairs and just left the house. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want Ian to be upset I wanted everything to just be quiet. 

It wasn't too cold out but the sun was setting so I knew I didn't have long before it got cold here. I knew the way from Ian's to my apartment it was around a 45 minute walk so by the time I got there it would be completely dark. I had no phone but I had a spear set of keys at the desk so I could get into my place when i arrived. 

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IAN'S POV

"You just going to leave her." "She'll just go home." I said to Paul sitting down on the couch. "Sorry for making you come out here." "Don't be silly you can tell she needs someone right now she's just not ready. Call me in the morning when she's gotten some sleep." I nodded and she let herself out.