Open Heart One Shots

Break Her Heart

It had been 30 days. 30 days since that one fateful night.

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"Ooo, Oo, oooo. What about this one, it's... oh an alien and an astronaut, aww. O.M.G, look at these cute bear costumes." They sat in Ethans office, Lexie scrolling through pictogram to find more cute halloween costumes for them. Ethan sitting at his desk barely listening, more interested at the raindrops that were gliding down the window. How they rolled past each other, how they would stop and start at different times. "Ethan? Ethan, are you listening?" That broke him out of his trance. "Sorry Lex, could you repeat?" "Of course I can silly, anyway I was saying, my roommates are throwing a party tomorrow for halloween and we're invited, what costume do you want to wear?" Lexie's voice mocking him but still caring enough for him to register that she had just said he was to attend a Halloween party, and wear a costume. "Absolutely not, I am not going to a halloween party, and not in a costume, go by yourself." "But then i'll have no one to talk to, and i rather have you by my side anyway, please?" But Ethan just shook his head, "No Lexie, end of discussion." "Is this about your mum? You've been really off lately, let me help you, and this party, it might make you hap-" That was it Ethan snapped.

He loved Lexie so much that without thinking broke their quiet comfort. Ethan didn't want Lexie to be caught in his family life, she was young and beautiful and didn't need to be wasting time on him. He not so calmly expressed that he didn't need her to fight all his battles, that his own mother was his own problem. Words were firing out, all directed at her, as all the stress of the last few weeks weighed down on him. Without thinking he screamed that if she had the decency of a normal human being, she would stop getting into his business and focus on reasons why she should be in the diagnostics team other than she slept her way onto it.

He didn't mean it, he didn't mean any of it, she was a great doctor, amazing even, but that's not what he said. "E-" her voice snapped short. Instead of her usual bubbly tune it was overturned by hurt, pain, regret and everything between. To say she ran was an understatement, she pushed her way to the door, fighting to get away. Vision blurred as she struggled to push out her last words. "I- i think it's better for both of us if i quit the diagnostics team, and if you think that the only reason i wanted to be with you was to stay here, well then i guess you never loved me back." Her eyes met his for a second, that very last second, before she slammed the door shut.

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It was funny to him that the last time he saw her was that night. They did work in the same wing of the hospital, and even with her quitting the team he would have thought to have seen her. He knew he hurt her and he knew she needed time so he vouched to talk to her next time they were alone together, only if he knew.

There was still a month of the year left, but all the things the hospital still had to document would take a while so most of the excess paperwork was being sent out now so that it was done in time. Ethan had been going through piles of it all day and when lunch rolled around he decided to stop for a bit. If he knew Lexie Colon (which he did) he knew that she would never skip lunch. He ventured to the cafeteria hoping to see her there, alone, reading a medical journal or something. He needed her to be there if he was ever going to talk to her again. Of course she wasn't there, just his luck, and he couldn't go ask any of her friends since they had been avoiding him for reasons he thought was because of the fight. He knew he had only 2 more things to do and after that he could go home and call her. So after waiting in the cafeteria for more than 2 hours for her, he retreated to his office.

The very last thing he had to do was signing off on deaths. He really just had to sign each page to validate them. He didn't pay attention to the names, only skimmed the faces here and there, but one face on the last page caught his attention. The name read

"Name: Lexie Colon. Death Cause: Complications with Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy. Time: 11:59, 30/10."

Ethans breath caught short, he re-read the line again, and again, and again. He did this, he killed his Lexie, he killed his rookie. "Complications with Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy," or more commonly known as broken heart syndrome. When stress or emotion overwhelms the body and the main pumping chamber of the heart alters in shape, in severe cases ending in death.

You know that feeling when you're playing kickball, and you say you have it. But just as you're about to grab it it hits you in the stomach and all the air from inside of you is wiped out. That felt exactly like this only much much worse. Ethan scrunched the paper from fear, from hurt and threw it as far away as he could. He thought that the further the proof she was dead the less it was true. That night, that fucking night killed her. Ethan broke the one person he could ever love into pieces no one could put back together but him. His face was red from the rush of emotion, wet from the salty tears that slipped down his face, exactly like the rain that day. There was one more thing he had to do, each person's last words were printed underneath, and not knowing why but he picked up that paper and read them slowly, imagining her in pain, her voice still calm like it always was.

"Last words: Look, I know I'm going to die, but please no one tell Ethan, not now. His mother already has him worked up, my death will break the man. Tell him I lo..."

He didnt know about her death, because even after that stupid fight, she still wanted him to be happy. A fresh batch of tears gathered in his eyes, as he dropped the paper once more. He retreated to the couch in his office, which they both spent nights curled up on, just enjoying eachothers company. A photo of them in New york was clutched in Ethans hands, as he cuddled the blanket that still smelt like her. Peach and White tea filled his senses as he gave up on any last bit of hope. He didn't move, he couldn't. So instead sat there remembering all their memories, relishing in her scent. His thoughts were so prominent that he didn't register the slight buzz of the glass doors when Naveen entered. "Ethan? Oh Ethan what wrong?" he looked up from the photo that he had been staring at for a while. "She's really gone isn't she, Lexie Colon is really dead because of me." Naveen wanted to console him but didnt know how so instead sat next to him and ran his hand over his back. "Lexie Colon is really gone my son."