online | dorbyn

ELEVEN

daniel slid down the wall, keeping his legs close to his chest and the warm cup of tea between his hands as he looked past the bars of the balcony. the sky was dark blue, just waking up from the sun that was coming up from over the sea. he looked down at the chamomile tea, dark, nearly black in his mug. the tea bag was moving around at the bottom of his mug, keeping him in a trance.

the kiss was good. extremely good. with multiple kisses. on his lips, his cheeks, his neck. his shirt was taken off and he kissed down his body, around his stomach, above his heart. he never went beyond that point, and daniel was grateful for that. because corbyn whispered in his ear do you wanna go on?

daniel froze. he had frozen up, he could feel his heart literally skip a beat. corbyn's eyes were still glassy, as were daniel's. it was emotional. everything was so emotional. he couldn't even think properly so he said yes.

he said yes to sex.

his mind had gone into autopilot.

maybe it was because he wanted to feel normal. he could at least pretend to enjoy it right? for corbyn, who has been nothing but supportive. he could at least try. it would hurt, he knows that much. he could most likely fake an O.

he practically forgot that they had started kissing because corbyn needed a way to shut him up and it went from there. he barely registered the hands trailing up his sides, back up to cradle his face, feeling a finger brush right by his cheekbone. he met corbyn's gaze. his eyes were soft, he had a small smile placed on his lips. he didn't look mad, he looked upset, but that was because of the words that spewed out of daniel's mouth earlier.

hey corbyn had said, let's just stick to kissing for now, how about that?

so daniel was eternally grateful. he still wasn't sure if what he was feeling was normal. not wanting to have sex, feeling absolutely nothing when he thinks of it or when he had watched it for the first time in middle school. and he decided, literally last night, that he was okay with the whole kissing thing. even on his body. maybe it just depended on the person, how much of a bond they had. maybe it would change when- if he and corbyn got together. maybe he would consider sex. but for now, the thought was empty. when he thinks of it, he thinks of nothing.

he took a small sip of the scalding tea. he winced as it went down his throat, soothing the rawness that he felt. the tea bag touched his lips, the gentle touch bringing him back to reality. he blinked a few times, looking back up at the sky to see it becoming lighter. the sun was rising steadily which gave him a warm feeling. maybe it was just the tea but for the first time in a long while, he felt at peace.

he took another sip of tea. still hot, still soothing his throat.

the glass door slid open, then shut. corbyn sat down in front of him, a quiet grunt escaping him. daniel watched him. his hair was flattened down but brushed to the side. he was still wearing his sweater from last night, and looked tired but rested.

"that tea looks hot." corbyn spoke, watching the steam leave the mug. small talk.

"it is," daniel just realized that his hands were stinging from the intensity of the heat from the mug. "want some?"

"i'm okay. more of a coffee person."

"is that an american thing?" he teased, taking another sip of the chamomile. "i don't think any of the boys like tea."

"well," corbyn resting his forehead on daniel's knees. "i think percy likes tea."

"percy is dark academia. obviously he's gonna like tea." daniel threaded his fingers in corbyn's hair. it was disgustingly domestic. the two of them sitting out on the balcony early in the morning, his fingers tangled in corbyn's hair, playing with the dark strands, while taking sips of his tea.