the day i lost you - dreamnotfound/gream

Did I Lose Him Though?

Everything is burning and I love it
Sit and watch the world until it's nothing
Scared of going out into the public
Yeah, we the kings now

***

I cried the whole day, and that isn't even an exaggeration. I just sat there and cried, the entire day. At around 3PM, Wilbur came around. He visited George right before he came, and he told me the same old news. The chance of him waking up is even lower, and he's still sleeping. Now its 6PM, an hour before they'll release me from the hospital. I fell asleep, eyes dry from crying.

---

I woke up to a lot of noise, nurses surrounding me, and I suddenly got anxious. Is it about George? Is something wrong with me? Did he.. die? The nurse noticed my breathing quicken, and immediately reassured me, "Its ok, don't cry please. We're just getting everything ready to discharge you."

I nodded, still anxious, but better. They were checking my vitals, making sure my thigh looked okay, and asking me the same questions as before. 'Any family?' 'full name?'

I refused to say, and that's when Tommy walked in, holding a pile of clothes. He smiled at me, and I smiled back, silently thanking him. He left to go talk to the nurses, and I got dressed. I slipped on a pair of jeans, a bit short since they were probably Tommy's, but they fit alright. It was quite painful, but I managed. I could walk fine, it just hurt my thigh, so I couldn't stand for long on one leg. I had sort of a limp, but at least I could walk.

I slid a grey hoodie over my head, pulling it down. I sat back down on the bed, when someone knocked. I said a quick, "Come in."

The nurses and Tommy came back in, and they started explaining what would happen from here. George is still sleeping, so that's self explanatory. Tommy has an apartment, and he said I could stay there until I get better, and more mentally stable. I understood what the nurse meant, as my own thoughts have been scaring me lately.

The doctor came in, made sure I was actually able to leave, and sent me and Tommy off. We didn't leave though, we just went into Georges room. Tommy walked in and took a seat in a chair up against the chair, motioning for me to come in too. I stood in the doorway, tears filling my eyes at the sight of George.

He was laying there, his face so pale, he might as well be dead. "T-Tommy."

He walked over, "Yeah Big D?"

I sniffled, wiping my eyes, "I c-cant do t-this."

He looked at me with understanding, and said, "I understand that. Lets try again tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded, grateful he was so understanding and how didn't ask me questions. We walked out of the hospital, through the parking lot, and to his car. We climbed in, staying silent, and he started the car. We started driving off, away from the hospital. I burried my head in my hands, tear silently falling down my face. He patted me on the shoulder, "It'll be okay, Dream."

I looked up and looked at him, his eyes still on the road. "Tommy?"

"Yeah?" I sighed, still deciding if this was a good idea. I decided against the voice in my head, and decided to tell him. "You can call me.. Clay."

He took his eyes off the road, wide eyes landing on me, but quickly returning to the road. "Okay, Clay."

He smiled at me a bit, to which I weakly returned. I leaned my head against the window, staring out into the blurry city, the lights connecting from the tears in my eyes. I just want George here with me. I want to hold him tight, caress him, kiss him, love him, and make sure he knows it. Eventually the car stopped in front of an apartment building, and I felt a light tap on my shoulder.

I looked over, Tommy looking at me back, slightly concerned, "We're here." I nodded, feeling if I even talk I would break down, and I got out of the car, Tommy doing the same. He led me to the second floor, room 405. Almost 404, like George's hospital room. Everything reminds me of George. Couches remind me of George, I want to cuddle him on it. Beds remind me of George, I want to love him on it.

My thoughts were interrupted by Tommy, "I have a guest bedroom down the hall if you wanna take that."

I nodded, "Thank you so much for e-everything T-Tommy, I-"

"Of course, Clay, things will get better. There's a bathroom down the hall too if you wanna shower. Tell me if you need anything."

He smiled at me, and I smiled back, heading down the hall to where he pointed.

I flopped on the bed and immediately fell asleep. Cuddling a pillow that I made myself believe was George helped me sleep a lot better, and I wrapped myself around it, telling 'George' I love him.

***

Take it if you can't afford to cop it
Talk about a baller on a budget
Gloomy 'till they put me in a coffin, yeah
Let us sing out!