Loki's Last Love

I was sat reading in my room when I was disturbed by a fast paced, chaotic, knocking.
"Yes" I said agitatedly as I set my book down on the arm of my chair. This better be important. I hate being disturbed, especially when I'm half way through a good book. I looked to the door as it was thrown open revealing a guard, heaving and panting, his hand pressed against the door frame for support.
"Your highness, it's your wife...she's hurt." He panted breathlessly.

My heart froze in my chest, my eyes wide in shock and fear. My precious girl was hurt. My brain couldn't comprehend it. I was the broken one not her, she was always there to fix me it was never this way around. It should never be this way around.

I leapt to my feet and the Guard hastily led me through the corridors towards the healing ward. I felt like I was in some sort of bubble, everything around me was a blur. I could hear the sound of people's voices around me as we passed countless people down the corridors but I couldn't hear any words, just noise. I felt hollow inside, my brain couldn't comprehend this. My little one was always perfect, nothing bad happened to her. Nothing bad should happen to her, she didn't deserve it. Yet it was happening right now and I hadn't been there to stop it. I wasn't there to protect her when she needed me. I had failed my gorgeous, precious, girl. I would never forgive myself for this. No amount of soothing words from her would ever convince me any different.

I stopped dead in the healing ward as I saw her pale, lifeless form lying in the bed. She didn't look like the girl I knew and loved. She looked so pale and fragile, so feeble and defenceless which was far from the truth. She was always so strong, physically and mentally, yes she was soft and caring but she was fierce and determined as well-that's why I love her. She's perfect in every way. Others may say that she's ugly because of the marks on her body and her 'imperfect' body shape, but to me she is perfect in every way. To me her 'imperfections' make her the woman I love and cherish, without them she wouldn't be the same woman. And this is the woman I love, not some alternate version of her, I love this version with all its 'imperfections'.

The closer I got to her the more cuts, scrapes and bruises I could see. From a distance she looked like she might wake up at any moment, but up close you could see that she was seriously injured. She wasn't sleeping; she was fighting for her life. As I picked up her fragile hand a healer came over to me.
"Loki I'm sorry to tell you this but there's nothing we can do." She said sadly. I looked to her and sighed before looking back to my precious girl. "She doesn't have long." She added before walking away.

Tears trickled down my face as I brushed a lock of chocolate hair from her face.
"Little one, I'm sorry." I muttered softly so only she could hear my words. Not that I could muster much more from my voice box, it was trembling in my throat like I was as tears trickled over my cold cheeks. Her touch had always made them feel warmer; her presence always warmed my frozen heart. But as she faded, so did the warmth she gave me. "I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me most. I'm sorry for not being up this morning when you left, I'm sorry I couldn't kiss you this morning and tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you." I trembled as my tears ran onto the back of her hand as I held it against my cheek. "I'm sorry for pushing you away when we first met. I was afraid and alone, I was too scared to let you in and for that I'm truly sorry. We could have had so much longer together if I hadn't been so afraid." I cried.

I felt such a mess here sobbing my heart out to my unconscious lover. I knew that if she woke up she'd tell me off for being so dramatic and over the top, but I knew that this time she wasn't going to wake up. I could hear the monitor in the distance, the beeping slowing down as the minutes ticked by. I was losing her. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. We had planned our lives together. We were going to have children and grow old together. She wasn't supposed to die after only being together seven years. Why was life so cruel? What had she done to deserve this? She was too kind and gentle, she didn't deserve to die this young.

"Little one" I whispered placing a kiss to her forehead. "Please don't leave me like this. Not this way. I don't want to be alone again." I cried as the last beep sounded on the monitor.

I buried my head in her shoulder as tears cascaded down my cheeks. There was an emptiness in my cold heart that I knew would never be filled. There was no magic that could fill the hole she had left, and no magic that could take away the pain I felt now. Everything I knew and loved had been ripped to shreds before my very eyes. The only person who fought for the man I hid deep down inside had been taken away from me. And why? All she ever did was see the best in people, what more could she do? If anyone deserved to die it was me, not her.

I barely remember my mother prying me from her lifeless form and leading me to my room. All I remember was her holding me as I cried for days. She was there every day, never leaving my side. I loved my mother dearly but this was one thing that she wouldn't be able to fix. The days dragged by and before I knew it, it was the day of her funeral.

My mother had her arm wrapped around me as we watched the boat drifting out across the water. Tears blurred my vision as my love went up in flames. My love and life was going to Valhalla and I know that she'll be waiting for me there. I know that she'll be looking down at me till the day that she'll be looking up to me as I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her softly. I pray that she isn't as miserable as I am, that she'll be smiling up there, having fun despite the distance between us.

My love, my life, I'll be with you one day soon.