BSD chaotic chatfic

fukuzawa created-no someone forced him to

-fukuzawa created a group chat-

-fukuzawa added dazai-

dazai is online

dazai: OYA OYA DEAR PRESIDENT!

fukuzawa: I can't believe you made me do this

dazai: AWWWWW ILYSM TOOOOOO

fukuzawa: Type one more sentence and I'll delete this immediately

dazai: sdjsidk fine

dazai is offline

-fukuzawa added atsushi, kunikida, yosano, tanizaki, kenji, kyouka, ranpo-

everyone is online

atsushi: what is this???

kunikida: WHY IS EVERYONE ON THEIR PHONES WHEN ITS OFFICE HOUR?!

fukuzawa: A group chat that Dazai forced me to create

yosano: anyone who wants to go to the supermarket with me??

ranpo: grab some chips for me

kenji: and milk!

-tanizaki added naomi-

tanizaki: can't miss out my sister can y'all ;)

naomi: NE-SANNNN MEET ME IN MY ROOM UwU

tanizaki: oh no...

naomi: no 'oh-no's

kyouka: ehh?

kunikida: Just...go back to your work please

atsushi: okay kunikida-san, but anyone noticed that president didn't add dazai here?

yosano: yes he did add dazai

atsushi: oh... but dazai-san is very quiet 

ranpo: ah he is sleeping across the room 

kunikida: DAZAI

kunikida: FML DAZAI

fukuzawa: Language 

kunikida: Gomen gomen

ranpo: oi dazai, come aliveeeeee

-yosano and 3 more people tagged dazai-

dazai: (i see my name)

kunikida: GET BACK TO WORK YOU BASTARD

dazai: (sheesh lemme take a nap or else i'm gonna go suicide again)

dazai: (or maybe find some wild mushrooms to eat)

kunikida: Arhgjeksksk—

tanizaki: i think dazai broke him

kenji: just like how my cows broke when I accidentally threw a farmhouse at them

yosano: kenji baby—no—

ranpo: kenji baby yes lmfao

fukuzawa: Language 

ranpo: *lmao

atsushi: btw why is dazai-san using ()s?

dazai: (so the president can't see me)

dazai: (i am forbidden to type in this group chat)

fukuzawa: Dazai... I believe you are smart enough to know that I can actually see you.

dazai: (oh no...)

-fukuzawa kicked dazai-

kunikida: Thank you President

-atsushi added dazai-

kunikida: And I hate you brat

dazai: my saviour atsushi-kun ಥ_ಥ

atsushi: you are very welcomed, dazai-san 

kenji: AND ITS TIME TO CHANGE EVERYONE'S USERNAMES!

-kenji changed his username to cowssaymoo-

-dazai changed his username to doublesuicide-

-dazai changed kunikida's username to dazaiisallowedtosleep-

-fukuzawa changed dazaiisallowedtosleep's username to kunikida-

kunikida: Please don't change my username again, it's perfect.

-dazai changed fukuzawa's username to meaniepresident-

-yosano changed her username to yosaNO-

-ranpo changed his username to bestdetective-

bestdetective: no objections are allowed

-tanizaki changed his username into lightsnow-

-naomi changed lightsnow's username to proteccnesan-

proteccnesan: i—

-naomi changed her username to iprotecc-

iprotecc: I love you ne-san ~

-dazai changed atsushi's username to sushiroll-

sushiroll: 😽✋🏻

kunikida: Can't believe you just let Dazai change that

sushiroll: ngl it sounds cute

ranpo: nom nom

-kyouka changed her username to boiledtofu-

sushiroll: kyouka-chan is so cute TwT

ranpo: nom nom again

-kunikida forcefully made everyone except meaniepresident offline-

-doublesuicide is online-

meaniepresident: Can Kunikida do that?

doublesuicide: sadly yes

-kunikida is online-

kunikida: DAZAI FOR THE SAKE OF GOD

kunikida: BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL AND GET UR ASS BACK TO WORK

-boiledtofu is online-

boiledtofu: what's happening?

-sushiroll is online-

sushiroll: hmmm?

-cowssaymoo is online-

cowssaymoo: i love cows :D

kunikida: I know, we all know, Kenji...

-everyone is online-

kunikida: ...

doublesuicide: oops!

kunkida: Why am I even here

-kunikida left the chat-

-meaniepresident added kunikida-

meaniepresident: you

meaniepresident: suffer

meaniepresident: with

meaniepresident: me

kunikida: Yessir