Expect the Unexpected

Five

Waking with a displeased groan the next Morn, Rob was a bit startled to feel another body in his bed beside him. His eyes flew wide open for a couple different reasons as he registered how soft it was, which could only mean one thing. No doubt it was a woman in bed with him, and since Raven didn't sneak in for booty calls and the like, it was either his daughter or his ex-wife. God only knew he hoped it wasn't the former, considering the condition he'd woken up in once again–having that happen with the latter in his bed would be humiliating enough.

        A soft hum greeted him as the body next to him squirmed slightly, and rubbing his eyes allowed them to focus just enough to make out blonde hair. While part of him was relieved since that meant it'd to be Mishy, another part of him was mortified enough to want the floor to just open up and swallow him whole as she rolled over to face him.

        "Well, good Morn to you, too," she chuckled sleepily. "That a hammer in your britches, or are ya just that much of a Morn person, now that you've gotten old?"

        "Oh, my God," the Silver Fox groaned, turning his face into his pillow. "Somebody just fuckin' shoot me."

        "Now, where's the fun in that?" Mishy laughed, pushing herself up just enough to look down at him.

        "Who said anything about fun?" he countered, peeping up at her almost bashfully. "'Cuz if this is fun, our definitions of the word're about fifteen different books apart."

        "Like ya always used to say about me, you're cute when you're blushing," his ex-wife giggled.

        "That's it–I've died and gone to Hell," Rob groaned. "That, or some kinda Purgatory as punishment for all the shit I did as a dumb young man."

        "What makes ya say that?" she queried on a laugh.

        "You're kidding me, right?" The Silver Fox didn't bother trying to bite back a snort. "My ex-wife's in my bed, even though she's married to another guy, and teasing me about waking up hard as a rock. How the fuck can that not be Hell?"

        Mishy couldn't help but erupt into gut-splitting laughter, which didn't make him feel the slightest bit better about the situation. The fact that he was horny enough to have all the subtelty of a Dog humping a doorknob certainly didn't help him right now. But if there was anything to be said right now, at least he'd gone to bed with clothes on, which woulda impeded him, if he'd tried to start anything before they'd woken up.

        Finally Calming down, his ex-wife grinned mischievously as she told him that she couldn't help wanting to tease him a lil. If nothing else, it was for the sake of cutting down on the obvious tension between them, not to actually be malicious toward him. After all, he'd graciously opened his home to her when he coulda just sent her to a hotel due to the World's current Insanity.

        Rob couldn't Begin to argue with that particular point, but made it quite clear that he was just too good a man to do that to anyone, his ex-wife or otherwise. He didn't necessarily appreciate being teased over a bodily function that the Manifestation of brought him no End of embarrassment, but he understood where she was coming from. There was no need for more tension when there'd been enough of that for months now–it was better to cut down on it when and where they could. Besides, it wasn't her fault that he hadn't been getting any action lately, so he couldn't blame her in the slightest.

        "May not be my fault, but I'm sure me being around hasn't been helping ya," she veritably purred.

        "What an understatement," the Silver Fox sighed, gasping when she pushed him onto his back. "Mishy, what the hell're ya doing?"