My Guardian is The Bad Boy Dragon (#6 romancefantasy -complete except for edits

Ch. 36.3 How Much Do You Hate Me?

The small guest tent was draped in orange fabric and dim candlelightcast a flickering glow. Inside, Rile poured two mugs of wine and handed one to Alex after she settled on a large cushion.

She took a sip and gazed at him without speaking for a few moments, searching for the words to describe what she was feeling. The wine was a crisp and tart and smelled sweet, like apples and pears. She decided to concentrate on it instead.

"How much do you hate me right now?" Rile asked.

Alex looked up sharply, her hair falling around her face. "I don't hate you. Why would I? You're trapped for life in a loveless uniting with a horrible shrew. My secondary goal in my short life is to bring you whatever happiness I can."

He sat next to her and drank from the mug. "That's very generous."

Alex shrugged and drank from hers. "My goal in life is to be a Guardian. Anything else is gravy. Remember my former life was being beaten and raped over and over."

  Rile stroked her cheek. "How horrible.  I will never let that happen to you. My first goal in life will be to make you happy with me. Being a Guardian is my secondary goal."

"That's not right. Serving the Creator of All as Guardians should be our primary goal."

"That proves you're better than me. Tell me how to make you happy."

Alex swirled the wine in her mug. She bit back the reply to let her return to his quiet middle brother and instead said, "Take off your tunic and shirt and lie down on your belly."

When he did so, she sat on the small of his back. She drew two glowing fingers down the middle of his back to tease, or maybe torture him, or maybe to arouse him even more than he already was. 

When he squirmed in either pleasure or discomfort or both, Alex lit her whole hand and placed it between his shoulder blades.

Instantly she synchronized and Alex allowed herself to concentrate on his golden-red wings that felt like they were begging to be released. A little more power and his golden-red wings unfurled.

"They're so beautiful," she said, mesmerized and voice breathy. "Oh, sorry. Did that offend your male pride?"

His laughter shook her. "No. What male doesn't like to be admired?"

"I should have used more masculine words, like handsome. Anyway, let me show you something." She picked up his left wing with care and slid her hand back and forth across the sail membrane.

The sensation was intoxicating and as the wing illuminated, she said, "Look, it's not only golden-red, you can see gold flecks in it."
Rile craned his head around. "You're right. I never noticed before."

"You just needed the right light." 

She lowered the wing and did the same to the other side until it glowed slightly as well. The hard, angry center of her wanted to leave him there, hanging on the edge, all night. The even angrier core of that center wanted to use the red power on him so he hurt like Cale must be hurting.

Then she reminded herself that he loved her, that he believed he was righting a wrong, and that she was there to be a Guardian first, protect the babies, and anything else wasn't important.

The thought that she didn't deserve any love, that a real Guardian would easily eliminate their enemies instead of bowing to them, always sent a nagging ache into her soul. She fought it as always, but it wore her down, like water on a rock.

"Come here," Rile said. "I want to hold you."

She felt guilty that Rile must have felt herpain, she got off him so he could roll onto his back, wings snapping back into place.