LETTER [정원]ᴇɴ⁃

32

   
Jungwon POV

" I don't want to meet Soo Ah," I said to Hana, holding her hand tightly while adoring her eyes in silence without knowing I am smiling like an idiot when I am with her. I want to meet her, enjoy my day with her but at the same time, I don't want to meet Soo Ah since she worked as a barista at her cafe because my day turns into a mess if I see her, thinking about what she did to me and everything. I want to erase all of the memories with her, especially when we spent our time at the park together. I regret, yes. I held her hand, pulled her into my embrace, and also kissed her on her cheeks- Or shortly, I don't like everything that related to her. I don't like a liar and also a stalker, so it's better if I stay away from her.

It's not that I hate her, I just want to stay away from her.

" It's okay. Her shift already ends." Hana replied to me and took a sip of her coffee, suddenly patting my shoulder while looking at me in surprise. " I have a question to ask you." She asked me and I waited for her question curiously, " Do you have any friend who is searching for jobs? I need one now."  She continued.

" Why?" I asked her and she pouted her lips, avoiding my gaze on her as she hesitates to answer my question. " Soo Ah want to quit." She shortly answered me.

Quit?

I cleared my throat, looking away because I am starting to feel uneasy by hearing that. I could not help but want to know the reason she wants to quit from working here but it will sound weird if I ask her about it and she will think of the wrong idea about me and Soo Ah.
" She wants to move away, I guess." Hana continued.

I hummed as a response to her and started to scroll on my social media, don't know what to talk about anymore because my mind starting to think about Soo Ah again. At the same time, Hana suddenly held my hand tightly while her eyes staring at me like she wants to ask me something serious.

" I could feel that you are starting to like her." She said to me making me confuse with her behavior just now and laughed with her words,

" I don't -" I paused.

" I don't like her." She smiles at me, caressing my cheeks with her thumbs. " You love me but your heart doesn't."She said to me in a slow tone.
" Am I right?" She continued and I quickly stopped her by wrapping my arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to me. So, she will stop thinking about it. I looked at her and barely smile, " Let's meet at the park tonight. I will show you something."  I pinched her nose before standing up from my seat and bid goodbye to her as I need to go to the building now.

-

   I looked at my watch and it already showed 8 in the night but Hana still didn't show herself at the park. I am waiting for her, sitting on the bench while scrolling on my social media for an hour. So, I decided to text her, asking her about tonight but still, she didn't give me any response. I guess, her cafe is was filled with customers at this time.

So, I decided to wait for her again.

I walked around the park while listening to music by my ear pods, looking at the sky, and can't stop smiling as I remember the moment I used to talk to the stars about my secret since I was a kid. It's my hobby for sure. I don't know why but doing it makes me feel calm and happy.

At the same time, I suddenly stopped walking when I saw Soo Ah was sitting on the bench, looking at the sky too. She slowly shut her eyes, wishing something to the stars, and let out a heavy sighed when she was doing. She stood up from her seat, holding a plastics and was about to go away but she stopped when she saw me too. Soo Ah blinks her eyes a few times as she surprised to see me here and seem nervous when she realized it was me,

Yang Jungwon.

  She took a step away from me and walked away without greeting me, pretending like she doesn't know who I am.

" Im Soo Ah," I called her.

I don't know what to say to her but I still called her for no reason. Soo Ah turned her body, staring at me with teary eyes.

I fixed my eyes on her and walked closer to her.
" What are you doing here alone at this time? What if those bad men will do something bad to you again? Are you going to hurt yourself again?" I asked her a few questions and quickly looked on the ground when I realized I am worried about her too much.

" Are you waiting for Hana? her cafe is busy at this time. So, it will take an hour for her to arrive here. Find a warm place. It's cold right now. Make sure don't catch a cold."

" I am going first." She smiles at me and bowed to me before starting to walk away from me.

" Is it true? You want to quit your job?" I asked her curiously and she stopped.

" I heard you are doing good with Hana. I am happy for you. I think it will be good if you wait for her at the cafe. So, she will feel happy to see-

" Please stop changing the topic."  I cut her off causing she looked at me surprisingly. Soo Ah wiped off her tears from rolling on her cheeks and smile at me again, pretending that she id okay although I know she is hurting so much right now.

" Im Soo Ah, you better tel-"

She quickly cut me off before I could finish my words.

" What's wrong with you, Yang Jungwon? Why did you care about me? Why did you act like we are still friends? Why did you appear in front of me when I want to forget you from my mind? Do you know how hard I am to stop thinking about you all day long? It's really hard to stop myself from missing you when you are already leaving me for someone else! You didn't show yourself at the cafe, It proves to me that you hate me. It's hurt, you know?"

" What should I do? I am trying to erase you from my life but look, you are here with me now. I felt guilty and regret after what I did to you! That's why I want to quit my job and live far away from you because I know, it will make you feel better! You hate me, right? Don't act like you are caring about me!"

" I am a stalker. I am a liar. I'm disgusting." She burst into tears and walked away from me without I could say anything to her back.

I could not help but run towards her,

wrapped my hand around her waist,

hugged her from behind tightly.

like I don't want to let go of her forever.

I am confused, this feeling - it turned into a whole mess.

I don't understand myself anymore.

"  I don't understand why destiny would let us meet, knowing that we could never be together."