Invisible String

and my happiness was short-lived

You must be thinking now how can I repeat and emphasize so much that Cari broke my heart and, apparently, did such terrible things when moments like those in the car existed. Fact is, to this day, I still don't know if those moments came from her heart or from the idea of what I represented to her: a safe and understanding place. But you will understand things more clearly a few chapters ahead, don't worry, this is only the beginning, our story is long. If you want to have a perspective on how far we've come until now, I'll share an important detail: this chapter of the story that you're reading right now happened almost ten years ago, and here I am, still trying to decipher Cari Fletcher.

It took her the rest of the school year to finally do it. I was already in Los Angeles visiting my father and she was heading to Miami with her family when she told me about the news. She finally broke up with Tyler. As predicted, he lost his mind and did not accepted it at all, but, thank god, she did it outside of her house so he wouldn't cause a scene or do anything stupid having her parents at the other side of the door. She waited to do it the day before leaving on vacation so she wouldn't have to deal with him for at least the next couple of months, which was very clever of her.

After our talk in the car, when she decided to put a pause to our thing until she fixed things between her and Tyler, we cut any kind of communication. It was hell keeping my distance all those months. We had just a couple of classes together and besides that I would barely even see her. My broken foot didn't help either, because I couldn't even go out and have some fun because it was so hard to move that it wasn't worth all the effort. Besides, if I had to go somewhere to watch her and Tyler together I was not interested at all, thank you so much.

I was so happy after the news. The fact that Tyler did not have the right to touch her like he was used to anymore turned the fact that I couldn't do that either a little easier to cope. At least no one else was playing that part in her life anymore, which was enough for me and my heart to calm down a little. But that didn't last long.

The news about them obviously spread and soon everyone from school was aware that the probable next year queen and king of prom had broken up. But, along with that, came another rumours. I would soon find out through Rachel, who heard it from her boyfriend, who heard it from Tyler himself and his friends, that Cari was already seeing someone else. Apparently, she was seeing someone she met at the beach in Miami and they were spending a lot of time together, which made sense to me, because her texts started to get more and more rare a few days after arriving there. There was even a picture of said new guy circulating on the group chats. My happiness lasted a total of one week. Maybe less.

It was at that moment that I started questioning whether the fight for Cari and the things that I felt for her were worth all the hurt and anxiety that came along with. I don't think I have to mention that my heart was broken all over again, do I? I didn't ask her about the rumours. I didn't want to know anything about it to be honest. The fact that it existed was enough for my heart to remember what other feelings were implied with loving Cari Fletcher: uncertainty and distress. I started ignoring her good morning texts and soon she stopped sending anything at all. If she was thinking I would accept being her second or even third option again she couldn't be more wrong. I tried to focus on hanging out with my friends in LA and enjoy summer without overthinking about Cari all the time, but it was ridiculously hard to get her out of my head for more than a minute.

When we all came back to start senior year, I had a brand new attitude planned inside of my head. I promised myself that there would be no more sadness, no more anxiety, no more Cari Fletcher, no more false hopes that she would ever retribute the feelings and respect I had for her. I thought it would be easier that way, but when I found out that Tyler had moved to another city and was completely out of the picture I almost changed my mind. The reason why we couldn't be together anymore was gone and there wasn't anything that would stop us from starting things over from where we left them months ago. Nothing but my disappointment and the fact that my consciousness made me believe that I couldn't trust her anymore.