Best of both worlds (a Big Bang theory fanfic)

Chapter 4: The chemistry conflict

I woke up to the smell of something cooking and the sunlight brightening up the room. I open my eyes to find myself lying on the sofa still in my Scarlett witch costume from the night before. I begin to sit up and look over to the kitchen.
"Rajesh?" I see him there and am confused for a moment unsure what had happened at the party. Once he heard me he comes over carrying a mug and hands it to me.
"Here I made you some coffee" he sits down next to me and everything begins to come back to me.
"Oh God! Last night" I say putting the coffee down on the table and holding my head.
"Raj I'm so sorry, how far did it go?" I ask scared to remember the rest.
"It's fine we just made out a bit at the party and I came back here where we made out a bit more. But it went no further than that I assure you". He informs me.
"It shouldn't have gone even that far, I really am sorry. Can we just forget about it?" I ask him as I take a sip of the coffee.
"Well you can try but I certainly don't want to. I quite enjoyed last night" he refuses much to my suprise.
"I just used you to get over how lonely I was feeling it didn't mean anything!" I yell.
He stands up and begins to look annoyed, "well it meant something to me! There's something between us!" He insists.
"How can you really think that we spent one night making out because we were both drunk. Not because there's feelings between us" I put my coffee back down and walk over to him.
"So you're telling me it didn't feel good?" He questions me.
"Well of course it did, but not because I like you! Only because you reminded me of my ex!" I gave in.
"So you used me to imagine you were with your ex?!" He begins to seem quite angry and walks towards the door of my apartment.
"Look Raj I really am sorry" but it was too late he had already left.
I went over to the kitchen and saw that he had been cooking me some french toast. I couldn't bring myself to eat it knowing just how badly I had messed up. Could it have gotten any worse?
So I decide to clear my mind by taking a shower and making myself feel ready for the day.

"Amy you know how Raj went back to Alice's apartment last night?" Sheldon asked his wife over breakfast.
"Yes, what about it?" She wonders looking back at him.
"Well what does that mean?" Amy just looks at him and raises her eyebrow slightly,
"You read the book Penny and Leonard gave you didn't you? You should know by now what that means" she insists.
Sheldon puts his spoon down and replies,
"Yes I know but is it possible it means something else. Like they decided to watch a film or something because they want to be friends?".
"Well they were making out at the party so I would say the evidence suggests otherwise" she pauses for a second before deciding to question him, "Why do you care so much?".
It takes Sheldon a moment to respond but he says, "well me and Alice were beginning to become friends and I'm worried Raj will scare her off. She was fun  to talk to, she wasn't non stop talking about children like Leonard and Howard or just talking about how lonely she is like Raj does. I didn't feel left out". After hearing this Amy begins to feel sorry for he husband, "awe Sheldon, I feel left out too sometimes" she tells him.
"You do?" He asks seeming surprised.
"Well yes. Penny and Bernadette are always talking about parenting things and their children and it makes me sad sometimes" she tells him.
Sheldon sighs for a moment, "well what do we do? We can't keep being left out we're the most interesting people in the group?".
"Well since we don't plan on having children right away we just let them talk about that stuff sometimes" she tells him.

I walk back into my bedroom after having finished getting ready for the day and notice the box still on my bed. I go over too it and look inside at all of my homemade costumes. 'He was right it is stupid' I think to myself questioning the decisions I made a few years ago and then regretting last night. I knew when I was with Raj then that I was just using him but I couldn't help myself, I had so little control. My thoughts are suddenly interrupted as I notice a notification come up on my phone, I read it and see that it's a text from an unknown number 'Hey this is Penny! Stuart gave me your number. We were wondering if you wanted to join us all for dinner tonight? We'd all love for you to be there and I think Raj wants to talk to you'. I spend a moment deciding whether I should go but ultimately decide I may as well, I want to be friends with these people so need to make an effort. I text her back saying I'll go and she she sends me the address. We message back and forth for a while making sure any potential issues were sorted, especially the fact that I have a vegetarian diet which sometimes gets in the way.

For a while I sit on the bed staring at the box consuming the many costumes I was once so invested in making. I would wear them for parties and conventions and it was the best feeling in the world! But he quickly taught me I was holding onto a childish fantasy and so I said goodbye to all of that. For over 3 years those costumes sat in a box collecting dust at the back of my wardrobe. I had to think of a more permanent solution.
I walked through the apartment and opened the kitchen cupboard where I stored the roll of bin bags and walked back into my room. Without allowing myself time to hesitate I moved the contents of the box into a few bin bags and tied the tops. Exactly where they belong I tried to tell myself.