Birdcage

Chapter 10 Lila...

Euphoria. I have always been curious about the word but never really understood it - until now. Last night- with Dane- I truly felt what euphoria was. I have only ever been with two men up until yesterday. I lost my virginity to my childhood sweetheart, Tom, when I was seventeen. It was uninspiring to say the least; painful, quick and all around disappointing. I do remember Tom being rather proud of himself though; I suppose it's always nice to make someone feel good about themselves. We did it once more before he moved away to Manchester to study and it wasn't much better. I then met a guy in University called Jack that I dated for six months. We had sex a few times but once again the passion was lacking. I then found out he had quite an intense foot fetish and I ran for the hills. So, it is safe to say that last night with Dane, was the best sexual experience of my life.

I didn't want to leave him this morning, although it may not have seemed like it. I have never been late for work in my life, so even though he laid in my bed looking like an Adonis, I jumped up and raced around like a mad woman to make sure I was out of the house on time. I hope he didn't think I was running away from him. I must make a mental note to text him when I get to work and make sure that is not the case. He did give me a kiss that I will be thinking about all day before we parted ways, so he couldn't have been too bothered about my rushed exit this morning.

I take a deep lung full of air as I make my way to work, smiling at everyone I pass along the way. I'm pretty sure I am creeping most people out but I do not care; I can't wipe this smile from my face. I should be bothered about the possibility of Russian gangsters showing up to hurt me at every turn, but I'm not. I should also be freaked out about the events in the alley, but again, I'm not. I actually found it exhilarating. I have always lived life in the slow lane, never taking risks or letting my hair down. Well, I definitely did some of that when I knocked a six-foot-something gangster unconscious. Or killed him, I'm not quite sure what state he is in today; I don't care either. In fact, the thought makes me smile even wider.

Euphoria- it doesn't last long. I lied to myself when I thought nothing could wipe my smile off my face. I was a mere hour into my work day when I came crashing back down to earth. Clients have been in and out all day, meaning Max has been unbearable. He has had me running around non-stop and when I finally managed to sit down for some lunch, Max decided to join me and ask me out yet again. By this point my head was throbbing with the demands of people and I really was not in the mood for his bullshit. The memory of the conversation makes my blood boil all over again. I was just about to tuck into my chicken salad when he walked into the staff room and perched himself on the table, more or less right in front of me, to the point where I had to shift my lunch over to the side so he didn't sit on it. The thought of him nearly flattening my food got my back up instantly before he even said a word. He then leaned down with a smug look on his face and said, "I have just become free tonight and I've got a VIP table at a new nightclub...I thought you could join me?"

"Thanks Max - but no thanks." I smile sweetly at him, all the while fantasizing about hitting him over the head with a metal bar. "Nightclubs aren't really my thing and I was hoping to catch up with my roommate tonight."

"Does this have something to do with that bouncer looking thing that met you outside of work yesterday?" he asks me out of nowhere, catching me off-guard. His smugness is now replaced by annoyance as he turns his eyes away from me and focuses on a gaudy gold pinkie ring, like he's suddenly bored and I'm just a mere inconvenience. Well, I'm about to get annoyed too, I think to myself.

"Actually Max, it's a lot of things. Yes, Dane is a reason I will not go out with you. I will also not go out with you because; one, you are my boss; two, you are beyond arrogant; three, you treat me like the office servant and four, I hate and I mean hate that fucking pinkie ring." As I list stuff off, I use my fingers to count each reason I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole. There are hundreds more but we would be here forever and I want this little interaction to end as soon as possible. I did have a silent worry that he would fire me for this, but I had to stand up for myself.