I'm Not Okay

Chapter One: "The Crowd"

I should have left earlier, I should have left earlier. I'm an idiot!
Raina briskly walks down the alleyway, wrapping her coat around her tightly. She takes out her phone, and checks the time.
10:56 pm. Great. Why the hell didn't I leave earlier?
She puts her phone back in her coat pocket, after quickly texting her sister, asking her if she could pick her up. Sighing, she continues walking, pulling her hood over her head. Her converse splash in the puddles as she walks, the only sound she can hear. Reaching the end of the alley, she turns left, onto Sprague Street.
Almost there, almost there. No worries Raina, you're almost there. You're fine. Sure, you're walking by yourself in the middle of the night, with nothing to protect you, but you're fine. Almost there, only 15 more minutes.
Raina jumps as her phone buzzes. She grabs it from her pocket, and slides her finger across the lock screen. She enters her passcode, and looks at the message from her sister:
Sorry, rain. Still @ work. Cant get out. Boss will fire me if i have to leave again. Youll be fine, dont worry. TTYL.
With a silent groan, Raina replies to her sister, Beth, and puts her phone back in her pocket. Knowing that her mom will probably be asleep (or drunk), she doesn't even bother asking her. Her dad is on a business trip, so she will just have to walk. She'd done it before-in the daylight.
Raina continued walking, listening for any passing cars, or other footsteps, but she doesn't hear anything. She takes another turn, onto a different alleyway. She can hear distant voices, probably coming from the seniors that hang out on the steps of an abandoned building. Putting her head down, she walks even faster, desperate to get home as fast as she can.

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"Ezra! Catch!" called Randy, as he threw a bag of chips and a soda to Ezra, the new kid from school. Ezra catches them, and sits on one of the benches in the park. Opening the bag, he reaches in and grabs three Cheetos, putting them in his mouth. Randy walks over, and sits down next to him, twisting the cap of his soda. He takes a sip, and nudges Ezra.
"Where did Gavin and Frank go?"
"They're still in the store, I think. They didn't follow us out."
"K. So, how do you like hanging out with us?"
"It's fun, I guess. My friends and I really didn't hang out this late at night, at home. But, I kinda like it, I guess"
"Cool. But, uh, just so you know, not everybody can hang out with us. Obviously, we're not going to invite the nerds or geeks from school. They're not cool enough to hang with 'the crowd', ya know?" Randy make finger quotes in the air, to emphasize his thoughts. To tell the truth, Ezra found it pretty annoying.
"Uh, yeah, I totally get what you mean. I think." Ezra answers, muttering the last part.
I understand the part about the 'nerds and geeks', but what I don't get is why they picked me. I pretty much was one of those people at home. Guess I could avoid hanging out with the so called 'nerds' at Randy's school. Can't be too hard, right? Ezra thinks as he opens his soda bottle. He sees Gavin and Frank walk out of the store, with chips and sodas in each of their hands. From what Ezra has gathered, they are the jocks at the school. Tough,muscled, and pretty much terrifying to most of the kids at school. Gavin is the quarterback of the football team, and Frank is the running-back. Still, they don't scare Ezra. He was the quarterback at his old school, and taller than both of them by at least 3 inches. Built just as they were, but thinner, he didn't have any reason to be afraid of them. When football season came around, he knew that he and Gavin would be competing for quarterback, and he was slightly nervous about what would happen if he, Ezra, had gotten the spot.
Something to look forward to in the future, I guess. Can't wait.
For now, Ezra was able to stay in the background, not bothering Gavin. Randy had mentioned that he had a past with anger issues, and Ezra didn't want to bring the said issues to his future. By staying quiet, and only talking when he needed to, he was able to stay out of Gavin's line of sight. For now, at least.
"So, Ezra, how do you like Providence High so far? Sucks right?"
Not really. Ezra thought, but he wasn't willing to say it out loud, and disagree with Gavin. He would probably be kicked out of 'The Crowd', as they called it. So, instead, he said,
"Yeah, totally. Even worse than Maine, that's for sure"
"Good, so you agree. Only those fricking nerds think its awesome. Not that I even care about what they think. Think they know everything, those ones. Can't stand 'em. You?"
"I really don't talk to them, so I don't have an opinion, I guess. But what you said is probably true. They do seem like they know everything." Ezra replies, looking away from Gavin, so that he won't be able to tell that Ezra had just lied straight to his face. Ezra actually did talk to them, quite a lot. That's what he was, back in Maine. A nerd. But a nerd that got respect, at least. Being the championship team's quarterback helped, no doubt.
Ezra checks his phone, seeing that he has a message from his best friend, Ben.
Whats up dude? enjoying 'the crowd', or whatever the hell they call it?
Yeah, I guess, Ezra replies Kinda rude, but ill get used to it. hows gemma?
Good, for now. the vets think she has Lyme disease, but they caught it early enough, so she should be fine. any hot girls @ school?
not yet. ive only gone for 2 days, and most of it was just touring the school. GTG, 'the crowd' is moving. ill text u tom.
k. bye.
bye.
Ezra puts his phone in his pocket, following Randy. Gavin and Frank are walking in the middle of the road, pushing each other around. They had left their empty chip bags and soda bottles on the bench, not bothering to put them in the trash can that was an arm's reach away. Ezra, noticing it, had thrown all of the trash out, while Gavin and Frank had their backs turned. He didn't really care what 'the crowd' thought, but he also didn't want to be kicked out because of something stupid like that. So, for now, he would take care of the environment secretly.
He walks by Randy's side, subconsciously matching the rhythm of footsteps. He checks the time on his phone, hoping it wasn't too late.
10:49 already? I hope they decide to call it a night soon. I'm wiped, and Fred and Steve will murder me if I'm out past 1:00am. Maybe even 12:30. Crap. I should say something, but I can't, not without looking like an idiot.
Nudging Randy's arm with his elbow, Ezra says to Randy, quietly,
"When do you think they'll decide to go home?"
"No clue dude. They always call it a night randomly. No clue why they do it, they just do. Heck, they could say they're done at 10, or 5 am. I never know. Once, when I actually asked, they almost kicked me out. Shouldn't be too late, dude. Why do ya ask? Gotta date or somethin'?"
"Nah, just tired."
"Don't let them figure it out. They'll call you a sissy, or somethin' worse. That's what happened to the last guy. They never let him get over it. Idiots, they are, but also bullies. Don't show 'em fear, and they'll let ya stay. That's what I do."
"Ok, got it. Thanks for the advice, I guess"
"No prob, dude. Guys like us, that are in 'the crowd', gotta stick together. Only way we'll survive."
"Sounds like you don't really like it."
"I do sometimes, gives me, I don't know, street cred? Other than that, it sucks."
"Yeah, I gathered that."
"You two fags comin', or what? Save your love life for later, and hurry up. We don't wanna miss the chicks, unless you're not interested, of course!" Gavin yells from up ahead. Rolling his eyes, Ezra jogs to catch up.
I could just punch him, and get it over with. Not that it would make a difference. Wouldn't even scratch that thick head of his. No matter how hard I punch. Or how many fricking times.
Randy pulls up beside Frank, doing a good job of hiding how annoyed he is. He looks back at Ezra, and shrugs, as if to say 'Just roll with it dude. Can't do nothin' '. Randy turned away before Ezra could give him a replying look, and continued walking. Ezra walks in between Frank and Gavin, wondering where they were going. Since it doesn't seem like too stupid of a question, he asks,
"So, where are we headed?"
"You'll see, dude. Its right next to a diner that has tons of hot waitresses we can lay. Perfect way to end the night, with a hot chick to f--k." Gavin replied, walking a little faster.
Oh, shit. I'm a virgin, and they want me to go have sex with a random girl I just met? Can't wait for this. Where will we 'do it' anyways? In the alleyway? Maybe I'll make it if I run.
"Oh.". It was all that Ezra could think of replying with. How was he going to get out of this?
"Ever done it before?" Frank asked
"Uh, no. Never."
"Wow, and I thought Maine couldn't get any more boring!"
Before Ezra can reply, Gavin announces,
"Here we are, dudes. Now, we wait for the chicks to come. Shouldn't be too long. What's the time Frank?"
"11:03."
"Perfect. The chicks get out at 11:15, so we have..." Gavin thinks about it for a minute, counting on his fingers "8 minutes to wait. Not too bad."
"Actually, we have 12 minutes to wait." Ezra says without thinking. Immediately afterwards, he regrets it.
"What are you, a nerd or somthin'?"
Yes, actually. Ezra wants to reply. Instead, he says
"Uh, no. Just, uh, never mind"
"Ok, whatever, dude. Still, not too long."
Gavin leads them over to a set of stairs, sitting on the bottom one. Frank climbs higher, and sits down. Ezra and Randy do the same, making sure that they don't bump into Gavin on the way up.