Torn In Between Two Loves

The Cure To A Broken Heart

I'm standing there looking at Gilbert who seems to be trying to figure out what I'm going to say and I know that what I did was wrong I shouldn't have kissed William but how do I make my heart understand when every single part of me yearns for his touch? I really don't understand it's been two painful long years and he still has the same effect on me, when he kissed me tonight it was like my heart was whole again, I could finally breath properly the hole in my chest was gone it was like he had brought me back to life, I really thought Gilbert was the one for me but it seems that William's kiss and touch proved me wrong, I had always dream about the day he would come and look for me and he never did I used to look out the window waiting for him every night and day for two long years, and he decides to show tonight and he wants me back, part of me does want him but I can't forget what he did I forgave him a long time ago one day when I was sitting down at the park watching the children play, I thought I had let him go for good but my stubborn heart still beats for him, "Amanda are you planing on standing there like a statue all night?, tell me what really happened between you and your ex did you talk to him and told him to stay away like you said you would?" He was looking at me with anxiously waiting for my answer I didn't know how to start because I didn't want to hurt him "Gilbert I... I kissed him" the words slipped out of my mouth I couldn't lie I had to tell him, God the look on his face how I wished to die at that moment "You did what?" He said almost screaming angrily at me, he walked closer and grabbed my hand and pulled me against his chest "Why? Just tell me why Amanda all I have done is love you why would you betray me like this, he left you and broke your heart and I thought you said you had forgotten him I really thought you loved me" he said holding me tighter, I couldn't move I couldn't tears started running down my eyes "I'm sorry Gilbert I'm so sorry I promise I didn't mean for any of this to happen I truly thought he was part of my past but I was wrong I still have feelings for him and it's not fair to you I can't marry you because I'm not sure of my feelings right now I'm so confused I don't want to hurt you I don't please forgive me I do love you I do there is no doubt about it but I got to sort my feelings out before I make a decision" I was crying holding onto him really tight breathing his rich masculine scent I love him but I don't know what to do because I love them both, he lowered his head so our foreheads were touching and he kissed me and I kissed him back I didn't want to let go of him but he broke away and took a step back leaving me standing there feeling cold and lonely "I.... I just can't look at you right now Amanda I love you but you have to understand this is not easy for me, the best thing to do is call the engagement off and I think I need to stay away until your thoughts and feelings are clear, I'm taking the job offer in Canada I think it's for the best" he said and turned around and walked to the door "Gilbert wait!!" I said and I ran towards him cupped his face with my hands and I kissed him "I love you" he whispered against my lips "I love you too I don't want to loose you" he let go of me and cupped my face with his hands "Look at me Amanda I love you more than life it self and I don't want to loose you God knows I don't but you have to make a decision, I'll wait until you make your choice I won't pressure you when you do if I'm the one you love and if you still want to marry me you know where to find me" he said and wiped off my tear with his finger he gave me a sly smile and walked out the door, I bent down and cried I wish William would have never comeback he just ruined my plans but he was also the cure to my broken heart I just didn't know what to do the only answer was to pray and let God guide me to the right answer towards the right path because sometimes we make plans for our selves but God might have a better plan for us, I went up to my room I knelt down and I prayed with all my heart and I put all my troubles in Gods hands.