Save Me From Myself (5SOS)

Social Casualty

 Everyone can see it, even me, it's just nobody is brave enough to tell me that they all hate me and I should die. The stares give it away as does the whispering, just loud enough for me to hear, and all the rude comments I get sent to me on Twitter. You could tell me to ignore them, block the account but it's not that easy. When you have to see the people day after day at school and even if I ignore the comments online it is all the same to my face. Maybe not quite as bad because they are all scared really but still they hurt a lot and I don't know how much more of it I can take. The real experience is nothing like in the films and books, this is no longer a story I can stop reading, this is my life and this is forever until I die. Just exactly when I die is up to me the world won't tell me when the moment is right, I will tell the world.

 Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to do it, brave enough to pull that trigger, swallow those pills or make those cuts. But for now I'm stuck here in this hell and I have no escape from it. Well I do have one actually, music.

 And one person in particular will always be in my heart and forever my one true love. Luke Robert Hemmings. He is a literal angel sent from above. He was crafted in heaven and put on this Earth to save us all. He may have been too late for some people but hopefull not for me. His face can make me cry and his angelic voice is so beautiful it almost can't be real. But it is and he is real, as is all the amazing words he says to remind us of how he loves the fans and although he may never meet me or know who I am it gives me hope and makes me feel a bit special because at least he gives a shit about me.

It may sound incredibly cliche and it is but that will never stop it from being true. Bands can save me, with their perfect lyrics and even more perfect faces. Just one song can bring back a thousand memories, some of them I don't want to remember but so many I do. Memories of a better time before it all started and memories of my friends and a happier me. I can play it so loud the whole world is drowned out, my thoughts with it. When in that moment I can get lost in the song and forget my troubles and the sweet voice of one of my angels goes into my ears and maybe for once in my life I can smile. But a genuine smile that doens't need to be fake because nobody is around to see it anyway if only they knew that I can smile for real still. But they all believe the fake ones anyway so it would make no difference. It's not like they can see how broken I am.

 Or maybe they do but they are too scared or stupid to say anything. They don't want to get involved and I don't blame them but it would be nice if some one cared just for a second. So I could see who my real friends are if I even have any that is. I can't ever tell if they really like me or just feel sorry for me and would feel bad leaving me alone. I may never know and that's okay but I would rather they just left if they wanted to because then at least someone would be happy.