The Blue Dress

The Blue Dress - Part Five

The echoes of familiar voices bouncing around the hall like balls in a Pachinko machine were soon brought to silence by the rector who announced that food was on its way. Prom was always one of those events with a set menu - basically this 4/10 meal or this 6/10 meal. Nothing special but nothing revolting or hideous either. The starter was soup and I was cautious of spilling anything on my dress so I pulled my seat right up to the table. It had almost reached the point that it was pinning me into the table and holding me in place but that was the aim. No chance of making a mess that way.

As Cindy and I dug into our bowls of chicken and leek soup, we tried to speak quietly about our situation. We soon gave up though, since the rest of the Social Outcasts were yelling about how excited they were to dance with the boys. Problem there being that Social Outcasts typically didn't attract boys. They seemed to be jealous of my date as we tried to make conversation and fit in with them.

One of the outcasts, Gina, made a comment about my friend. 'I never expected he would swing that way. Even if you say you're a girl now, you still have a man's body.'

There were two ways to respond but starting a fight with one of the few girls even shorter and smaller muscle-wise than me would have ended in drama. Instead, I chose to brush it off. 'I am a girl actually. Like Descartes, 'I think therefore I am.' I think I'm a girl, so I am a girl.'

Her response was another snarky comment. 'I think you're a sissy faggot, therefore you are.'

Yikes, that was some burn. I just blew her off and retreated to conversation with Cindy about typical stuff. Quietly laughing about how people were dressed and how the 'popular' girls were clearly drunk or at least tipsy already. I never understood the fun in being so drunk you don't remember anything you did, so I've always been teetotal or near enough. Not for religious reasons, I just don't like alcohol.

Cindy had her eyes on someone too, but she wouldn't say who. I warned her not to go for my man but we laughed as soon as the words left my shiny lips. The food was being served a little slower than we were eating it and there was a 10-15 minute gap between the soup and the main course - lamb with mashed potatoes and green beans. I kept myself trapped between the chair and the table since there was an admittedly delicious sauce to go with the sub-par lamb. They say it was lamb, I had my doubts. It wasn't horrendous but I've eaten a fair share of lamb and it was easily one of the worst I've had.

The final course was essentially posh ice cream sundaes. I swear, they picked the messiest menu they possibly could. I observed a couple of the...more annebriated girls miss their mouths with spoons of the frozen sugar and not even register that it hit them. As I said, I've never seen the point of it. If you're going to prom, make it one to remember. My mum's punishment, my date's attitude so far and my friend's support ensured this night would stay with me already, even though hours of this event remained.

In short, the meal was uneventful an average dinner and some fun yet pointless gossip and chatter. Just like the women in a salon! Cindy informed me that I best wipe my face so I gently dabbed the corner of my mouth with the conveniently-placed napkin. My stylist must have used industrial-strength setting spray/powder/cement because my makeup didn't budge. I had no complaints about this of course, Alice loved her appearance at prom.

Once we let the cold dessert settle in our bodies, the siren of the rector's voice sounded yet again.
'Ok everyone, it's time for us, the teachers, to say a few words to our class. Then we will hand out the ballot papers for Prom King and Queen and finally, we'll start the dancing!

Well, the teachers speeches dragged on. In reality, only 5 of them spoke but it felt as though everyone I had ever bumped into in the street had something to say. 'We are so proud of you all and excited for your futures.' 'We wish you all the best for what's next , whether that's university, college, work or otherwise.' Or otherwise? I suppose gap years exist but I didn't comprehend it at the time. 'You all have grown into perfect young adults, and we have watched that process throughout the last six years.'

They didn't bother trying to hush the murmuring coming from both sides of the hall since their microphones meant everyone could at least hear them even if they weren't listening. It dragged on for so long, I was expecting them to hand over to the school janitor for a weather report and the receptionist for sports news. But eventually (and thankfully), the speeches ended with another empty-feeling yet well-meaning message. Then the same (don't swear) person from earlier came around our table to hand out the papers for voting on Prom King and Prom Queen. The tittering picked up again from nearby as I heard a few girls joking over the idea of voting for me. Cindy and I refused to participate seriously, we wrote each other's names on our papers and left it at that. For King, we wrote my date's name. We thought that would be pretty funny though equally unlikely.

Even in all of the joking and ridicule that some girls were indulging in at my expense, I knew I wasn't going to be prom queen. Sidenote, there is a word my German teacher gave me for taking pleasure in the misery others - Schadenfreude. Not exactly relevant to the story, just a fun fact. You've learned something. Anyways, other girls are just destined for those positions like prom queen and head girl and I wasn't one of those girls.

Different teachers whizzed by to collect votes from all of the students as we were allowed to leave our seats. We weren't allowed to go anywhere, but they wanted us all to be standing as they read the school motto and values. The cringe was so large that if it were its own being, it would have swallowed the hotel whole. Blah blah, the rector freed us at last and it was time for dancing. Unexpected butterflies filled my insides.

I was finally going to be reunited with my date sat across the hall. A small part of me was actually excited for him to hold my hand again. To hold me in all sorts of other ways too. I was really becoming absorbed by this Alice alter-ego that Cindy encouraged and persuaded me was somewhat real. If I wasn't full on transgender, it could have been a fluid thing. It could have been that I had feminine tendencies. I'd only really know once I tried, that's how we even reached this extreme point with Alice.