The Blue Dress

The Blue Dress - Part Eight (ENDING)

Relieved and revitalised, I made my way back into the hotel lobby still on Cindy's arm but now able to feel her warm skin on mine. It made me wish that she was my date instead, and she still wouldn't have ever been that, even if my mum didn't insist on this punishment. The same punishment that was so eye-opening, the punishment that was changing my perception one high-heeled step at a time. Cindy herself seemed relieved too, and she was in the mood for some trouble. With the night I'd had so far, I was feeling a little mischievous as well. May as well embrace the feminine swagger while I had no other choice.

We walked back into that party hall as if we were the stars of a TV show. We could almost feel the slow-motion camera shots on us as we took confident strides in our heels, owning our looks with a smile that said that no matter what these people did or said to us now, we wouldn't be broken by it. My spirit had been surrounded by a layer of unbreakable rock, nothing was going to shatter through me and my first experience of being a girl. This was my choice while it also wasn't. I could have still been hiding yet here I was, in the thick of the party at the time when the dancing was in full swing.

Cindy's strong hand in mine was definitely another reason why I felt so unstoppable after we took that breather. It still wasn't love, this was sisterhood. This was a welcome into the community of femininity from a girl I had known for a fairly long time. When my own family were laughing at my predicament, Cindy nurtured the punishment into a discovery of self. I was always Alice, and I just needed somebody to help me realise it. Now however, all I needed was something more exciting to drink and a good time.

We went up to the bar and the staff were way beyond the point of checking who was and wasn't of age to drink. The glass of Jack Daniels and Coke was in my hand in less than a minute, the young dark-haired man serving behind the bar struggling to pry his eyes away from my face as he did it. I suppose that's the up side of all the training these lot do, they now have the chance to enjoy the view of who they serve while they wait for drinks. My flatter chest didn't even seem to bother him as he handed it over with a pleasant 'Enjoy, girls.' I felt a bit risky so I winked at the barman in response. He couldn't have been much older than 20 so I knew it wasn't too weird a thing to do. Besides, I had kissed a guy already that night so it was time to find someone who meant it instead. I didn't have much of a shot with this guy though, he'd be working all night and then I wouldn't see him. A real shame, I wonder if he's still that attractive.

One person who did notice my flirting was Cindy.

'You like him! How did you not realise you were a girl all this time honestly?'

'I guess my clothes and makeup are just letting a different side of me out of the cage tonight.'

'We need to get you into dresses more often in that case. You so want a boyfriend!'

'I had one, he just turned out to be a tw*t'

'Welcome to the club, Alice! That's what guys do. It's not fair that they're so hot on the outside and so cold on the inside. Like they came out of a broken microwave!'

'Now now, that's no way to speak about their mothers.'

And the laughing started once more. Prom was actually turning out to be quite fun now that the alcohol was breaching my lightweight system and my reasoning was blurred at best and non-existent at worst.

'OK serious question though. How do I go about finding someone who loves me like this?'

'Well simply put babe, that's not going to happen tonight. Prom is full of people we've never liked so far and they're all now super drunk and some are very horny as well. You're not going to find your Prince Charming in a room of likely lads.'

'Yeah, that's true. So what do I do?'

'You take some nice photos of yourself and upload them to social media. You start a Tinder profile as the real you if that's what you're looking for. Not even just that, there are loads of different dating sites and loads of different ways to date. Steer well clear of your former friends though.'

'Or so-called,' I finish her point for her. 'So in the meantime, what do we do?'

'We're going to finish our drinks, probably order more and have those too, then make a pathetic attempt at dancing and acting like normal girls. We'll take stupid photos and videos to make sure we know what we've done. And when this night is over, we'll head home and forget all about these people and their toxic lives. For one time only, tonight, we're going to be like everybody else here.'

'You mean, we won't be outcasts?' I really wasn't picking up what she was putting down.

'Oh no, we still will be hated. We just won't care enough to acknowledge it.'

'Sounds good enough I suppose.' I shrugged and tipped the last of my drink down my throat. 'Another round?'

'A few at least.'

Cindy kissed me on the cheek as I ordered us a refill. It wasn't a romantic kiss, more just that playful stuff us girls did. I'd never quite seen her like that before but I suppose that was the case for her seeing me that night as well.

From that point, the rest of the night was a bit of a blur. The photos and videos we did keep are still on our phones to this day. The night that kickstarted everything I've been through since on the road to becoming what I always was without ever really knowing. That's just my life, it's the way things are. My family were apprehensive at first but they accepted their daughter eventually. Mum's only problem was thinking up a new way to punish me. She wouldn't need it though, I'm a good girl now. Well as long as I'm sober!