smitten. - A Poetry Collection

bubblegum;

bub·ble·gum/ˈbəb(ə)lˌɡəm/noun

chewing gum that can be blown into bubbles.

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.
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the idea of perfection
i chewed and rolled on my tongue
sticky, sweet, in time bitter
like a silly old bubblegum.

buried in eraser dust
the ashy remains of pencil shavings
"be a good child, you must
bring honor on a paper for love."

nothing to dry my tears,
so i used my loose sheets.
the sheets painted blue
and left marks of red on my cheeks.

like the golden bangles my mother wore
i was flaunted on all occasions.
"keep at it you'll get love and more."
the affection-quenched throat in me croaked.

but alas even my mother's
bangles were ingenuine
the kiss i received for every success
wasn't enough but just maddening.

"who was i anyways?"
a vessel not worthy for tenderness
a child trapped in sticky bubblegum.
my life, empty, colourless.

"make it stop will you, love?"
I don't want to keep chewing
this sticky, tasteless bubblegum
wait, who was i talking to again?

who was i talking to again?
my lover or my up-bringer
who made me this way?
i don't want to remember.

am i going crazy?
please, tell me you'll love me.
or will you just expect things from me?
please, 
just let me breathe....