EMPATHY 共感

Jade Radell

From the beginning she lived a happy life, she has a brother named Jasper, he's 18 and she's 15. at the time she was close with her family from game nights to movie nights. Jasper would always take jade on car rides, he introduced her to smoking one night and only did it with him. She only really did everything with him; she didn't have too many friends, actually no close friends. She considered him as a close friend. I mean they went to the same school so she could hang with him and his friends. Life seemed good.8;23am  August 25, 2019 Jasper was found dead. Jade was the one who found him,he was next to a bottle of xanax, the whole bottle was now empty.he had committed suicide, jade seeing her brother lay on that floor she didnt feel anything, she ran to her parents telling them to call the policie, she was oddly calm about it.both her parents rushed to the bathroom fiding jasper, they both balled while jade camly called the police. She looked at her parents crying, her father looked over yelling at her and asking what had happened. She argued back saying she didn't know and she had just found him. She looked over at her parents again crying, wondering why she wasn't crying , cry she told herself cry, cry ,cry. She couldn't, she smiled.her parents looking in shock.The father then blamed jade screaming "did you do this, did you do this to jasper." "no" she screamed. She ran to her room wanting to cry so badly but no tears fell, only laughter. She couldn't control her emotions, she couldn't cry.That whole day was a blurr the police then  came and diagnosed it as suicide, she never came out of her room for after that.she stayed in her room painting. One night she wanted to cry so badly and to prove to her parents she did feel sad. So she decided to rub a small amount of bleach in her eyes, she thought this would just make them a bit waterty as if shes crying right? No, they began to burn, she cried but not from emotion but from pain. Her parents found her and rushed to the hospital. She told them it was an accident, they believed her of course.Luckily her eyes were fine, but her parents weren't. She hasn't spoken a word to them until today, her parents then became distant the next few months even after her small incident. She knew They blamed jade for jasper's death, but no one knows why he truly did it. She wonders so much why he did it, she misses him so much, but why did he have to leave me here alone, all alone she thought.She got angry at this thought , she wanted to scream so badly but she couldn't, she just couldn't but why couldn't she, she wondered.Why can't i show any emotions anymore it takes so much just to feel angry "what is wrong with me" she shouted, she shouted but not angrily just in a monotone voice still loud just no emotion to the voice. She realised and gave up and began painting again. These thoughts still haunt her, thinking of her brother haunts her, not because he's dead but because she couldn't show the emotion she was feeling when she lost him..It's been 8 months since his death, she continues school online but today is the day she gets to go back to normal school. She isn't excited at all, she has no friends to go back to, she's alone.people yell at her in the halls blaming her, saying it was her fault, this was on the first day, the first goddamn day!. It's now been 10 months since the incident, she doesn't have any friends still, until a guy she's never seen before walks up to her, she thinks it's one of Jasper's friends coming to blame her. but no,he introduces himself. He comes up to her and introduces himself as oliver. "Hi I'm Oliver, I'm a sophomore and I just moved here and the counselor told me to find jade, and the boys over there told me you were her." "yes i am,"she said quietly. He told her how he needed a tour of the school and how he doesnt know much about this place. He offered it to her friend but she said nothing, she toured him around the school and it ended very quickly, nothing much said. She left and went to her usual spot on the bus, but what do ya know, she sees his rosy, pretty face, "wait pretty face?" she thought. She was thinking why she called him pretty, she never said it but she thought it. He resembled someone who hast slept in awhile, she thought. as he walked down she could see him more clearly. She started noticing him coming towards her, he then took a seat next to her, she scooted down a bit and she looked over at him he looked almost angry, she asked him if he was okay. He answered with a smile and said" im fine, just tired". He seemed so unenergetic compared to this morning she wondered what was wrong. They didn't speak a word on the bus. They both got off at the same stop and had lived fairly close to each other.being curious, she followed him. She followed him to this nice looking house only a few blocks away from her own house.
She realised how creepy she was being and slowly walked the other way to her own home.