PICK ME! {Book Reviews}

Blood

Title: Blood

Author: KittyKayDence

Chapters: 30

Status: Complete

Mature Content: Violence, mention of drugs

Focus: How did I do with the backstories? Does it seem a bit forced in some areas? What are your added critiques?

First off, I'm a sucker for a dystopian story, so you had my interest right away with the plot summary. I think you have a really interesting premise and thought it was clever to create a society that is operated by a series of gangs. That's not one I've heard of before, and it's neat that they are all named after the four suites of cards.

You offer some really nice descriptions throughout the chapters; I especially liked how you described the atmosphere that Chunwha felt during the practice test and the time leading up to the day of the real test. Anticipation helps keep people reading!

Since you asked specifically ways to improve on backstories, I will focus a lot on that for my review. Backstories are a great tool to help build exposition and to help readers sympathize with your characters. My suggestion would be to have chapters dedicated to different plot points you want to provide background information on. So for example, take some time (either a full chapter or even a half chapter) to describe the life in this dystopian world that is run by the different gangs. What is life like for Chunwha growing up as a Spade? You mention these briefly in Chapter 1, but don't be afraid to expand on this. Tell us more about how grueling it was growing up basically at the bottom of the totem pole. Tell us more about the Selection Test and what benefits come from being one of the few chosen.

I'd also really love to see a backstory chapter dedicated to just Chunwha and her brother. They are definitely an interesting pair and while I was glad to see he wasn't dead like she feared, it's heartbreaking to see how cold Chunwha acts towards him. Relive the important moments for the readers; what were they like when they were younger that brought them so close together, and help us understand the emotions she must have felt when he left. Providing this information will help it feel more compelling when they are finally reunited and yet nothing is the same for them ever again.

In terms of speed of the story, I think some of it can seem a bit rushed. If you don't already, I would recommend creating a basic overview of a plot structure for the entire story (if you've ever seen those graphics, these are the ones that include "exposition", "conflict", "rising action" "climax", "falling action," and "resolution"). But then also have a basic plan of what you want each chapter to cover. You of course don't have to necessarily stick to these both exactly (I often change elements in a chapter as I am writing!), but having a basic plan will help with flow.

Some other things I wanted to point out: Try and mix up your word choice and the way you start your sentences. I noticed you start sentences with "I" or "They" a lot, and use the same descriptive words ("said", "walking", etc.). Change these up a bit to help the story feel more natural, and it can be a great way to include more description to the characters. For example, instead of saying "said" to describe dialogue, try a more descriptive word that will portray what that person is feeling. For example: if they are angry, their words could be shouted, barked, or snapped, etc.

Finally, a bit on grammar: careful with your use of similar words like "to" or "too" or verb tense (wonders, vs. wondered). But these are small things that we all make so don't beat yourself up too much. You have a good, original storyline and I enjoyed reading it!

Feel free to reach out to me on my personal account if you'd like, if you have any questions! 

~Crimsonfred1