The Dream

Reputation

-Zain Danial-

It's Valentine's day. 

I'd like to be able to ignore this day like I do usually. It's not that I hated it but it didn't necessarily interest me either. But I couldn't just ignore it.

I turned on my phone to be bombarded by tweets and messages from people I used to know or one time flings wishing me a 'Happy Valentine's Day' and asking if I was free. I guess it could be seen as nice to have so many people remember me on a day like this but I knew none of it meant anything. It never did. 

People's emotions and true intentions have always been an apparent and transparent thing to me. I can see through people so easily, knowing what's fake and what's not. Unfortunately, most people are fake and the only real thing they'll show you is their anger or resentment. That's why for the longest time, I didn't have any faith in anyone, in the world as a whole. We're all just flaws that mean nothing in the larger spectrum. The world never revolving around us, never needing us, is dying because of us. We suffer and yet we live on like this. 

I hated it. 

I turned off my phone and started my day, trying to forget the mood I had put myself in and carrying on as normal. After all, the day is supposed to be a happy one full of...love. 

My thoughts turned to Carla instead who had already started making breakfast by the time I came down to the kitchen. The one exception to my thoughts before was her. She was the only person who never seemed to have ulterior intentions, didn't have a different face. Considering she was in the business field, you'd expect her to be a lier, to deceive, to manipulate people for her own profit, but she doesn't. 

She was honest and generous, kind and thoughtful. I wouldn't be surprised if she had a Valentine's today with her looks, her intelligence, her charm as a whole. 

"Have any plans today?" I asked as we sat down with plates of pancakes sitting in front of us. She thought for a moment, genuinely thinking, before answering,

"I believe I have 4 meetings with Sebastian, Kyle, Rubie and Fazel today, lunch with Sara and then planning a trip to one of my factories in America." I couldn't help but look at her with an amused face, mostly because this was her showing where her priorities laid. It wasn't in celebration, not in going out, it was her work that was always on her mind. Always. 

"I was meaning to ask if you wanted to come by the way," 

"Sure," I replied and she nodded, focusing on trying to remember that for later. I noticed she doesn't have a particularly good memory which was funny, I had to admit. 

"And after work?" I carried on which made her stare at me for a little bit with an innocent face as if reading me she then says with a casual tone, 

"For Valentine's?" I nodded with a smile because it wasn't as if she didn't know what today is, she just didn't care for it. She was like me. "No, I don't think so. But that does remind me..." She goes into her pocket and takes out a card, holding it out to me between her two fingers. "Here." 

I don't take it straight away. "What for?" I ask which I saw sparked her amusement since she smirks at me slightly. 

"Your suit to the charity event and any other accessories you may need, shoes, tie, cuff links, you know the rest," She says which makes me smirk along with her. 

"I refuse," I say blatantly and she looks at me confused. "I can't have you pay for my things, it's unmanly," 

"You're refusing because it hurts your man-pride?" She says back just as blunt. 

"Yes." 

I could tell we were both trying to hold in our laughs at this conversation.

"I was the one who asked you to the event, I'm responsible for how you dress and how you pay for what you dress in. So take it." Just like her to go straight to logic to help her out and frankly...I couldn't argue against it. Logically, she's right and that's the only way I like to think. 

"Think of it as a gift." She says, noticing that she's won so she puts the card on the table and gets up, giving me a little wink as she does. 

---

The day goes by and after Carla was scheduled to have finished her meeting with Fazel, I walked towards her office with a few things that she needed and an overall checkup on her because although she looks after us as her workers all the time, she doesn't look enough after herself so I wanted to make sure I could do that. 

However, before I got there, I heard two voices talk and my name came up in their conversation which made me stop a turn before Carla's office. 

"You seem to have gotten closer to Zain recently, Miss Siddiki," it was our secretary, Janet, the person who was acting as part of the personal assistant before I came to work here. 

"Have I?" Carla's voice bounces back, her voice being distinctively different from everyone else's. 

"I just wanted you to know to be careful, he's not the...best person." When Janet says that, my whole body flinches. 

"Meaning?" Carla seemed indifferent but I couldn't see her face so I couldn't be sure. 

"His records are clean but his online reputation- I'd just like to say ma'am that I think for your own sake, you should stay away from him." 

I shut my eyes tightly in frustration and disappointment. Of course, they'd find out eventually, they'd find out about the numerous people who spread lies after lies about me, who say that I've cheated and hurt people, who say that I'm a scam and have dragged others down to get as far as I have. Fuck. She probably won't want me to-

"Thank you for informing me Janet, but I had looked into his online background well before hiring him. Still, your concern is appreciated. Although I think it's important you learn that the online world is, frankly, fucked up. You'll get a million lies before you find some sense of honesty. Let's not judge people entirely on the words of others, okay?" 

Having Carla defend me like that made me still for a moment. She knew this whole time?

I walked around and faced them both which made them look at me. Janet lowered her head and with an 'excuse me' she walked away, leaving just Carla and me outside of her door. 

"You heard everything, didn't you?" She asked softly and I nodded back. "Shall we?" She then reached to open the door but before her hand could twist the handle, I put my own hand on top of hers, making her stop and look back up at me. 

"If you knew, why would you hire someone like me? For all you could have known, I'm a manipulative, egotistical, sociopath and yet you gave me a job, invited me into your own home and treated me with a sort of kindness that I've never seen from anyone, made me feel like I was perfect even though it's impossible to be. Not even my own family has treated me as kindly as you do. So why?" I tried to show as much sincerity as I could because it meant so much to me. 

She looked into my eyes and with no hesitation, no doubt, she told me, "It's because of how imperfect everyone seems to think they are that I want to prove to them wrong." What? "People are flawed, I agree, but it's those flaws that have made us, which have brought us this far, that others look up to, that others may strive for, which will guide us to the end as it did in the beginning. We hate to admit it, but we are perfect." 

"But what about those who have committed crimes, killed, stolen, deceived?" I asked, seeming to find myself at the beginning of something wonderful enough to make me think it's too wonderful to be true or make any sense but,

"It's thanks to those people that we know their actions as crimes, it's thanks to those people that other systems both socially and personally get stronger and more advanced. The world we know today is made by every individual who lived and died before us and the world after us will be the same. And I can't help but see that and everything else as beautiful."

"And you think that I could be that significant?" 

"No," She says and gently grabs on my hand which was still on top of hers, bringing it to the centre and taking it with both of her small yet strong hands in a passionate hold. "I know you will be."

The number of people who have gone against me, have betrayed me and ruined my thoughts on what it meant to be human, and yet she was nothing like them and for the first time, I had faith and it was beautiful. 

4) She has an eye for beauty - I can't describe this. I know it's there, I'm unsure how or why, but it's there.