The Gift of Kyman (One- Shots)

Secret Admirers (1)

Words: 2, 261

Warnings: Heavy Language

South Park Middle School is hosting a Valentines Dance for the kiddoes. Everyone seem to gather up a partner but Jenny, Kyle, and Cartman who is really getting his shit together to ask Kyle out before Jenny does.

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He just couldn't stop writing over and over. Wasting every page in his journal by crumbling them up and throwing behind his messy bedroom.

Valentines is right around the next day. That's even worse than right around the corner! Eric has wasted days after days, trying to tell his special crush to be his partner for the Valentine dance. Everyone he knew already got there partners but him because, he spent his time avoiding his commitments to up right- being a dick to his crush instead. And he's been doing this teasing since... the fourth grade, the year he realized to know some kind of interest for a ginger- Jew named Kyle but, he always denied it till today.

He really needs to get his shit together after he heard some rumors of Jennifer asking HIS date out to the Valentines dance. Every night he couldn't sleep from dreams of him living a sad- lonely life but full of cats in his imaginary crappy- apartment. And one thing that Eric knows about imagination is that anything imaginary is and can be real.

So...fuck that. 

Eric tried his best to ask Kyle out, but he always seems to go on a... weird slope to ask him, or even talking to him. The closest he could get was being alone with Kyle, and all he was able to say was, "Don't go to the Valentine dance with no one-"

"Why fatass?!"

He swore on Kenny's life, Eric was so close to say, "because I'm asking you out." But for some reason, the words coming from his mouth came along the lines of, "because Jews have no rhythm, and you know it. You are just going to embrace yourself."

"...shut the fuck up, Cartman."

Eric has gotten used to the insults from anyone, but from that day it still hurts him. He can even hear those words again and gives up on the letter.

Eric smashed his head on his desk and groaned in pain. Even on paper, he couldn't figure out the right words to ask Kyle out before it was too late. His plan B was supposed to be simple, just write something and stuff it in Kyle's locker.

Eric really wished he had help, and help did come. Cupid Me shows up giggling, then frowns to see his buddy dead on the table. So Cupid Me poked Eric's head with an arrow to make sure he was still alive.

"Ow, WHAT THE FUCK, CUPID ME?!" Eric scratches behind his head.

"Heheheh, there's my ray of sunshine~"

"Cupid Me, I swear, you better leave me alone before I put you back in that GOD DAMN SHOE BOX!"

"Aw, what's wrong Eric? You are sounding like a big ass bitch, teaheheh~"

"Cupid Me, I am already stress enough on writing this STUPID letter. I don't need more from hearing your stupid ass 'he-hes.'"

"Heheheh, it's not stupid. Remember, I am yoouuuu~ And this letter is so special to yooouuuu~"

"Can you at least help me?!"

"Why of course silly~" Cupid Me started to fly around, leaving hearts and sparkles all around Eric's desk. "You have to make it sound like it's yooooouu~ It will make it special for Kahl to know its from you and he will love it."

"Well I know that but..."

"But what Eric? Don't think about it too much, that's the problem. Just asks and no matter how it will turn out, it's still from your own little happy words, teaheeeh~"