Summary:
He really shouldn't have said it. He even really shouldn't have thought it in the first place. He couldn't help it, though: the words left his mouth before he could hold them back, harsh, almost spiteful, and now the harm is done."I hope you'll have fun with your new admirer."Brett actually didn't say a word. It's his fear who's talking, right now. And its rage is taking control, and he gives up (he might go a little wild tonight, when the shadows hide his love and show his desire).Where does this lead him?In a land where time doesn't matter, and hope is useless.
- a Valentine's fic, i guess -
The dialogues in italics are in chinese, the others in english.
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First round
He really shouldn't have said it. He even really shouldn't have thought it in the first place. He couldn't help it, though: the words left his mouth before he could hold them back, harsh, almost spiteful, and now the harm is done.
"I hope you'll have fun with your new admirer."
He smiles, in the hope that it will sound more like an encouraging joke and less like jealous sarcasm. But he can tell by Eddy's look that he didn't fool him at all. His friend, who is chatting with Zach and Hendrick after everybody else left, frowns at the interruption. He's obviously confused by the use of chinese and blinks a few times.
Zach and Hendrick share a look and Brett hates it, and he hates the ironic smile on Zach's lips even more. He's a hundred percent sure the young singer didn't understand a word of what he said. So why does he look like he knows exactly what's happening in his head right now?
"What?" Eddy replied in mandarin as well, a curious look on his face.
Words are now locked up in his throat, and it's like he cannot breathe anymore.
"Hem, nothing, sorry."
"Brett Yang, you stupid, stupid coward", he mumbles as he goes back to putting the cameras and the blond wig away. He needs to enjoy what he already has, what Eddy agrees on giving him. It was the deal, after all.
But deep inside, fear starts its journey. It has already conquered his brain, and his heart is next in line.
***
Second round
The second time it happens, they're filming another video with Zach. Syakirah is here as well, and he enjoys their bright singer energy for a moment, but apparently Eddy has decided to piss him off today. He's standing way too close to Zach and for some reason Brett is not ready to endure this. (Last night left him satisfied and very, very emotional. More than he thought he could be. When he woke up in his cold and lonely bed, missing Eddy as if he was missing half of his heart, he knew the day would be long.)
But it's even more difficult than what he expected. When they left their flat and Eddy put on his camel jacket to hide his arms ("You went a little wild yesterday, didn't you" he said jokingly, looking at the bruises scattered on his skin, and Brett almost blushed) he already knew it would be harsh.
He handled the looks, and the jokes, and the closeness, and the flirting pretty well during the video (at least he hopes so, he's spent half the time trying to hide his burning jealousy and the other half praying for people not to notice it when he couldn't hold a discomfited look back).
Now they're just hanging out together; they ordered bubble tea and the conversation rolls on: they talk about uni, parents, music, passion and Singapour. They joke, they laugh, they really enjoy the others' company.
A sour feeling keeps reminding Brett that Eddy seems to enjoy somebody's company more than anyone's, and he tries to let it go, he really does.
But now Zach is showing Eddy something on his phone and the two of them are close, really close, and Brett blurts out in chinese without thinking about it:
