Max
The following day, Tuesday, I was summoned to the principal’s office where I was ‘busted’ for ‘assaulting’ a fellow student. Excuse him? Try as I would to explain that my actions had been in self defense, the principal was adamant. In his eyes I had launched myself at Jake Nichols, enraged by having to leave the teams. The poor boy had been lucky that his friends were around to pull me off…
Mum was called to be informed about what I had supposedly done, but ha Mr. Johnson, she was on my side. At first, Mum wasn’t too pleased to know that I’d been involved in a fight, but when I was explaining to her what had happened, I ended up telling her that I was gay, and she understood. Just like that.
There was no dramatic scene where I stammered telling her that I had something to tell her, then her saying that I could tell her anything, then my whispering that I was gay, and her coming to hug me or whatever. I hadn’t had any apprehensions, initially, but then I hadn't been able to tune out the whispers of people, talking about how some parents had kicked their child out; alienated him or her. My faith had wavered then, but it was futile worrying on my part, apparently.
I got off clean, after Mum threatened to sue (her being a lawyer made the threat more credible) Jake for slander, and the principal for not hearing me out (he hadn't, it was only when Mum had told him to shut up - in more polite words, obviously). It was after that scene that he'd listened to me, admitted his mistake and let me walk off.
“Max, is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“No. I mean, you know I’m gay, right?”
“Students here haven’t taken it too well, have they?” She’d noticed the odd looks I’d been receiving then.
“No…” I sighed.
“Max, if you don’t feel comfortable here, we can arrange for change. You know that, right? You just have to tell me.”
This time my “No!” had a lot more energy behind it. Mum looked surprised, but before she could say anything else, I added on. “Mum, I’m not going to back out. They need to know that they can’t do this. And I can deal with it. I’m going to stand my ground, no matter what.”
She looked pleased, I thought, but then said “But if you ever feel…”, so I don’t know.
“Mum, it’s alright. I can take it. It will die out soon anyway,” I interrupted. I believed the last bit as much as I believed in Santa Claus, but I’m stubborn.
She said nothing until we reached the car (being the gentleman I am, I had walked her to her car), then “Max, some battles are won by walking away. It wouldn’t make you small.”
I was getting annoyed at her persistence, but being her son, I kept up.
“It’s all good.”
*
Another Friday came - my last day at Letterman High. Monday onward I would be attending Maxim High, another school in the area, but in the other direction from Letterman. Since we were situated in a place (conveniently, I might add) where both Letterman and Maxim were basically the same distance away, it didn’t make much of a difference that way.
To Letterman, it translated to ‘I give up’, and though I wish I could say ‘but I knew better’, I couldn’t. I had given up.
Sitting in my room with lights out as I had started doing so frequently, I felt the waves of shame wash over me – slowly drowning me. But the thing was, I couldn’t keep fighting. I just couldn’t.
Earlier that day:
Just as any other day, Mr. Grey woke up with the rising sun. He switched off the alarm that was just about to ring, and gazed lovingly at the stirring figure of his wife. This wasn’t unusual for him either. Stretching, he put on a robe and walked to unlock the house to get newspaper paper, again as usual.
But there was nothing usual about the sight that greeted him.
The front lawn didn’t resemble what it had been like the day, or night before. Not a surprise, considering it had rubbish scattered all over. Black plastic bags, rotten fruits, paper, glass bottles… The curtains had been drawn, so what he had failed to see from the inside of the house, he saw now. Eggs.
It didn’t stop there. The garage, which had been painted a soothing, peaceful white, now bore a huge red spray painted X with the word ‘***’ below it. The intruders had also had a go at the mailbox, which stood no longer. The head lay broken on the pavement, rotten fruit spilling out.
The cars that had been parked in the garage had not been spared either. The vandals had taken the liberty to break the one window near the top and had managed to throw in as much rubbish as was possible. The cars had been hit.
Mr. Grey was shocked, not because of why this had happened, but because of what had happened itself. He didn’t dwell on that for too long though – he was all too aware what Max had had to go through. No, what was in his head was something else: he needed to prevent his family from seeing this. That was quite easy to say, but making that happen was on a different level altogether.
Even if he had managed to devise a plan that would prevent his family from seeing the state of the house, it would have been futile, because at about the same time Max emerged from the house, halfway in a stretch. He never did complete the yawn; the state of his lawn had shocked him awake. His light brown eyes that had been half sleepy were now fully awake and aware, and his face that had been partly confused was now locked in an expression of utter shock. And sorrow. He knew all too well, just as his father did, who was responsible, but that wouldn’t do much good. He couldn’t undo their actions.
Mrs. Grey emerged too, curious as to why her son was standing at the door dressed in a T-shirt and boxers when it was so cold outside. She soon saw why, too. Her precious lawn looked like a dumpster fill. The walls she had so lovingly helped paint didn’t look so loving anymore, and…it was overwhelming. She couldn’t hold her horror back. Max felt sick, hearing his mother gasp loudly. All of this was because of him…
A much louder scream cut through his thoughts of disgust and horror, and the sickness within him was elevated to a whole new level. Lucy. He, his mother, and father turned at the same time to see a tiny, petrified, red headed seven year old who had just woken up. Max stepped in front of her, in an attempt to prevent her from seeing, but it didn’t do any good. Mrs. Grey rushed to comfort the child, and Lucy buried her face in her mother’s shoulder.
Max wanted to throw up. His sister…she shouldn’t have had to see all of this. How would he explain all of this to her? He looked at her face, her terrified, innocent face, and made his choice.
That day, I went to school ignoring everybody, pretending that nothing had happened, and handed in a letter that said I would be leaving the school immediately. I wasn’t going to stick around for another month, even though school rules required students to hand in that letter one month in advance. It hurt my pride to be doing so, I admit, but I couldn’t put Mum, Dad and Lucy through all of that every day.
Nobody had said anything, but I knew that what had happened would keep happening. Again. And again. And again.
Lucy’s terrified face kept coming to mind, and in that moment I knew that I had been defeated.
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New Days [Completed]
Fiksi RemajaMax's life is changing pretty fast - coming out of the closet is one of the most radical things he's done, and not all changes that have come along have been 'good'. A new beginning brings an old face back into his life, and then onwards begins the...