The Suicidal's A-Z

Greg

Time slowed down, as she shook her head no to me. I dropped the flowers in my, and my heart felt like it burst from my chest. The only person in the world who could pull me out of the darkness was her, and she rejected me...

I turned on my heel, and walked head down away from her at a very quick pace. "Greg! Wait! Please... Let me explain."

"Your no was all I needed to understand how you feel about me..." I choked out, before walking around the corner, and out of her sight. I paused, hoping she would come after me, but only silence filled my ears. I sighed gently, before wheezing. My lungs felt constricted, and my heart was torn. I knew I was broken, but I didn't think I would ever feel worthless. Incapable of getting any friends other than her, scars, bullies, and average grades. Sometimes when they would beat me, I could only feel numb. This pain was unlike any other I have felt. I walked slowly, making my way to my crappy old pickup truck. I unlocked the car, and slid in. 

"Fuck! Why..." I trailed off, and slammed my fist on the steering wheel. "What did I do to deserve this..." A tear rolled down my ugly stupid horrid face. I stared blankly ahead, my eyes no longer focusing, and  auto-pilot went on. My brain stopped working and my heart stopped beating. I was a zombie in the form of a boy. I didn't have a date for prom now either. I was a bubble that just needed to be popped, and destroyed from being on this earth any longer... The road was a blur, as I drove on the empty roads.

I need to escape for good this time. Adding more scars can't help me now. I pulled into my driveway. I didn't even bother to see the time. I slid back out of the car, and walked into the shack we call a home.  I dropped my backpack onto the floor, and dragged my feet across the floor. 

"Are you finally home scum! I have a surprise for you." My so called father called from the kitchen. I mindlessly walked to his voice, and stared at him. Tons of beer cans were laying everywhere. "Let's get started!" His eyes shimmered, as an inhumane smile appeared on his lips. 

He punched me, kicked me, and basically strangled me to death, leaving bruised ribs, and 7 new bruises across my body. It hurt to breath... Again... I limped into my room, and locked the door. Tears fell silently down my face, and I looked at my long bony fingers. Why did I have to turn out like this... Like another person who has no future because of others in this horrible community, and by the population we call humanity...

I shakily stood up, and staggered over to my closet where I hid all my drawings. I drew one once a week, pouring my heart and soul into every line drawn to create my pain. I left them in the box, but pulled it out into the middle of the room. I then walked slowly over to my beat down desk, and took my sketch book, and a pencil and wrote out my last words to the world. I went with what my mid told me.

Dear Police Officers,

Don't let my death get out, no one will care or notice I'm gone anyways. I've decided that there is no point to living if there is no life left. I've been alone, ugly, bullied, and abused since freshman year. I'm just done. My moms dead, along with both my siblings, my dads a crazy drunk, and the school is insane. I just need a new escape. A permanent one, so this is it. When people used to tell me to kill myself, I would tell them if I wanted to commit suicide, i would jump from their ego, to their IQ. Well I finally decided to take that leap. This is goodbye forever...

-Greg

I don't know why, but I decided I will kill myself the only way I knew how. I opened my drawer and pulled out my sharpener, old and slightly rusted from years of use. I looked down sadly at the metal blade, and sighed. When I was younger, and I heard about suicide, I never thought I would get to this point. This much anger, sadness, and numbness, to cause me to end my life from this world. I placed the metal sideways, and pressed as hard as I could on my vein all the way down to my elbow. The pain was definitely immense, and  I groaned in pain. Blood poured out of my cut, flowing quickly down my arm. 

I looked at my arm, and I smiled faintly. I will finally be free. Free of pain, of hunger, of sadness...

Too just be free... 

I slowly felt weak, and my skin grew pale. I looked out my window, and the brightness caused my eyes to blur and my head to pound.  I blinked, and saw that girl... Her hair was blowing in the wind, her tiny eyes glowing, and her face filled with hope, flowers in her hand. They looked droopy, and a little ruffed up, but I smiled faintly.

At least she wanted me in the end...

I could no longer hold my head up, as my life slipped away from this world.

At least she cared.

A/N

hey guys! sorry i haven't published in forever! i've been really busy, and i started school, but I wanted you guys to finally get another chapter. I am also going to post another one in about a minute, so  I hope you enjoy.

please vote, comment and enjoy

-Amanda