The Suicidal's A-Z

David

I watched, as my parents argued again, yelling about my mental illness. What they didn't know was it was all a lie. I just couldn't talk. I failed those tests on purpose.

"I told you we should have aborted him! You were barley 15!" My father yelled, his angered voice echoin through out the house. I wish I was normal, I wish people didn't treat me like a freak child.

 I cried in bed. It wasn't very manly, but I didn't care. People thought it was normal for me to cry. I let thoughts crowd my mind after an hour or more of tears, and their fight.

I heard of suicide, where you take your own life. I tried it before, but I failed. They think it was an accident. That is where they are wrong. This time I will suceed. Then, once my burden is gone, everyone will be happy. My mom and dad, me, and my grandma. Without me, we would all be happier.

Sure i was only 7, but I wasn't scared of death. 

My life was already fucked up anyways.

i got out of bed, and grabbed the knife from under my bed. I cut myself, and let the blood stain my floor, in memory of me. 

I got back into bed, and drifted off into a restless sleep.

!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^

I awoke to my alarm bleeping out its usual beep. I slapped the off button, and crawled out of bed. Going to a school filled with other special ed. kids is annoying. I can never hear my own thougts over their yelling sometimes. I don't mind anymore, since I know how they actually feel.

HATE...

People say it is a strong word to use, but I didn't care anymore. I hate school, I hate myself, but most of all, I hate my mom and dad for giving up on me.

So many people act like I am a freak of nature, and that I should be put out of my misery. If I could say a sentence, it would be very honest and aggressive. 

The only one who makes me want to kill myself, is all the people who can't accept me for who I am!

I smiled at that thought.

I decided it would be final.

I will kill myself today, after school, before my dad gets home.

School will be pointless anyways.

I walked out of my bedroom lazily. My eyes drooped with bags under my eyes, and I hated the freckles that spread on my face. I could feel them taunt me on my face.

I walked into the kitchen, to find a bleeding mom.

She was like this most mornings.

"Hi bud, how did you sleep?" My stupid dad asked, walking out from the pantry.

I swear sometimes I think he is the retarted one. I might be normal compared to him.

In answer, I just rolled my eyes and shrugged. This is how I always answered.

"Honey, leave him alone," My mom said, hugging him.

I snorted under my breath, and rolled my eyes once more. Like I said, I was 7 but I was really smart.

I already couldn't wait for after school. 

~!@#$%^&*()_)(*&*()_)(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(

I entered the house quietly, and ran up to my dad's room, before mom finished bringing in the groceries.

I opened the door silently, and ran to his closet. His three guns were stashed secretly throughout different pockets. I looked around, and felt a gun. I pulled it ou. It was pretty, silver, and heavier than I expected. I ran back into my room, before my mom called to me.

"David, what are you doing? Stop running around please." She shouted to me. 

I grabbed a papper, and a random crayon. 

I wrote a simple message, to make them believe  I really was dumb.

BYE~D

I looked at the simple message, and I tried to laugh. It sounded like a hoarse cough.

Ready to go, I closed my door, and locked it. I took a knife, and ripped off my pants, leaving my shorts for the run on.

I took a deep breath, and  started cutting myself, starting at my shin. When the knife entered, it hurt at first, but then it felt like the missing blood was missing pain. Relieved, I made more cuts all the way up my leg. Small shallow cuts now lined up my right leg. I didn't do the same to my left leg though. I stopped, knowing that my mom would come  to talk to me soon. I took the gun, heavy not only in my hand, but in my heart as well. 

This was so easy to do, to end a life.

But you are leaving everything here, but that is fine. It's not like anyone cared anyways. 

And with that thought, tears sprung from my eyes, as  I cocked the gun. My hands started shaking, as I turned the gun to my throat. i shuddered, but let out an exasperated this sigh.

"Honey are you okay in there." My mom asked knocking on the door.

Without hesitation, I pulled the trigger, my eyes open to the world. 

I fell to he ground, feeling warm and fuzzy, before everything went black

I'm gone, and I am never coming back

~~~~~~A/N~~~~~~~~

I'm sorry for the short chapter, but  I was bored, and I have nothing for my other book. Sorry.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

this chapter is dedicated to anyone with a medical "problems". 

Anyways, for another chappie to be written I actually want 15 reads. 

No sooner!

Love you all my little tacos.

I LOVE TACOS!!!!!!

NEWBIE

AMANDA :)