Naruto One-Shots *Closed to Requests*

No Restraint [Pein] for Mr. Cafe-kun

"Ow! That fucking hurts, bitch!"

"Oh, cry me a river, Hidan. Grow up!"

Pein sighed, pinching his nose in frustration. They were at it of course, again, most likely over a sparing matching see as that neither of them had been sent on a mission. Not that he would even partner those two up. That would just be a disaster waiting to happen.

As if on cue his office door slammed open, the dark haired girl walking in. She was definitely irritated, grumbling under her breath. "Do I even want to know?"

"If you value your life, I wouldn't."

"Please tell me you didn't hide his head like the last time."

The young woman smirked at the memory. "Don't worry, the bastard got off easy this time..."

His eyes narrowed. "Mel."

"Hey! It was only an arm, okay! Kakuzu can stitch it up no problem."

Pein pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closing. "I would appreciate it if you would stop injuring my members."

"In my defense it's only Hidan."

"You could learn some restraint."

"Then tell him to stop being a pervert! I'm tired of nearly getting jumped in the shower, having to worry about him sneaking into my room at night, and fighting him to get back my clothing from my closet! Did you know he sold three of my panties to some of his pervert clients at the bars? You're lucky it was only his arm I cut off!"

Pein's expression darkened the longer she went on, nearly snapping the pencil in hand. "He takes showers will you?"

"Please, as if I'd let him take a step inside the tub."

Mel left the room allowing the leader to think about this situation. He knew of their rocky relationship, but not of the harassment. How had this slipped by him? Unless it had been brought to his attention by Konan, though the young man had a habit of tuning her out sometimes when she talked for too long.

This needed to be dealt with. Quickly.

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It was late in the evening when Pein moved through the deserted halls, the group having turned in for the night. He stopped beside a door, quietly moving inside. Slipping off both sandals and allowing the cloak to drop to the ground the leader pulled back the covers before slipping in. But the young man only laid on his side, not moving further onto the mattress.

"Why are you here this late?"

"I'm surprised you're not trying to kick me out."

She snickered. "You're not Hidan." Pein stared at her back watching as the ninja sighed heavily before turning to face him. "Why are you up so late?"

"I was dealing with something."

Mel cocked a brow. "Uh huh, and that would be?"

"Let's just say a certain criminal won't be making his presence known around you anytime soon."

"Do I even want to ask?" They were silent, staring at each other. "You didn't." The young man smirked. "I was wondering why it was so quiet. Where did you put his head?"

"Somewhere outside."

"And the body?"

"Miles away from its head. It's just walking around aimlessly trying to figure out where he his."

A laugh escaped the young woman's lips causing her to clasp a hand over her mouth in an attempt to muffle the noise. Pein chuckled wrapping an arm around Mel's waist to pull them closer together. "Thank you. But now I'll have no one's ass to kick."

"I'm sure you can find someone to replace Hidan while he's hunting." She hummed and the young man kissed her gently before her nose nuzzled into his neck. "Or you could take a break and actually control your urges."

Mel snorted in a un-lady like manner, playfully hitting his chest. "Nice try."