Violence - dsmpxreader

IX

Ty for all the support! Remember if you have any plot ideas please comment, I'd love for this book to be what you want!!

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TW - self harm mentions and swearing

Tonight was the night, you were going to leave. It was just before Dinner and everyone was downstairs preparing dinner - all the L'manbergians were going to eat dinner tonight since we haven't in a while. You were in your room listening to music, f/s exactly. Suddenly, someone knocked on your bedroom door. You looked up from your bed and focused your eyes on your door. "It's open." you said,  fully monotone. You were trying to be as emotionless as possible so that you'd get use to it. Techno learnt to show none of his emotions at a young age - you remember him showing you and trying to teach you and George at a young age. You and Techno were best friends with Clay when you were younger - the troubled duo some would say. Not showing emotions helped Techno immensely in battles. You could never tell how he was feeling during battles and it was honestly intimidating.

Your thoughts were broken when your door opened, revealing Alex. You haven't spoken to him much but yet you were still close friends. He walked in and sat on the side of your bed, facing you. "Why'd you leave L'manberg? More specifically - why were you with Dream?" He said. This made you freeze up, you were never good with confrontation but this was another level. "Wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy." you scoffed, annoyance filled in your voice. "Yknow what? I'm gonna drop it, I trust you and all of L'manberg trusts you, we know you're doing the right thing. However, I expect you to tell me or Phil or even Wil soon, otherwise you'll get in trouble. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you met up with him though." he said, sighing. "Anyways, Phil wants to speak to you before Dinner, I'd go to his room." Alex added, leaving the room. "Aight." you said, monotone flooding your voice. 

You crawled out of bed and walked down the hall, knocking on Phil's door. You knocked and stepped back slightly, you heard rustling on the other side of the door. Suddenly, the door flew open. Revealing Phil. "Come in." he said, filled with concern. You sat at his desk, swivelling his wheely chair to face the bed, where he was sat. "Apparently you wanted to speak to me." You said, showing no emotion. "Yeah, let's keep it down unless you want everyone to know your situation." he sighed. 

"Y/n, what's up? Why are you self-harming, WHY? You know we're all here for you. I love you like a father, Tommy and Tubbo look up to you so much. Wilbur fucking love- not finishing that, not finishing that. Anyways, we are all here for you, and you KNOW you can take breaks and stay inside if needs be, we care so bloody much about you!" he said, tears filling his eyes and slowly spilling. You knew he was talking about your wrists, filled with deep and surface cuts, big and small. You sat in his chair, gazing into his eyes with a straight face. Not wanting any part in this conversation. You wanted to cry from talking about this type of thing, but you wanted to be the best you could. You wanted to be known as the trio of Techno, Y/n and Clay. Not Techno, Clay and that other girl. 

You got up from the chair and reached for his door to leave until you felt weight tug on your other arm not trying to open the door. "Answer me." Phil said sternly. You tugged your arm and walked out, going downstairs to see how long until dinner. You went down to see Wil and Niki laughing and talking with eachother while Tubbo, Tommy, Fundy, Quackity and Jack were talking and laughing. This made you completely set on your decision to leave. You, Techno and Clay were such a close bunch. The perfect trio. However, when this whole SMP was made you split up. Techno didn't want to settle down, he kept exploring. Dream became way too power hungry while you were being taught to do the opposite. 

You must not of noticed how deep in thought you were until you found yourself with Phil's hand on your shoulder, looking down at you. Wil was glancing at you, confused as to why Phil's face was stained with tears. "You aight big man?" Tommy called out to Phil to which he nodded. "Dinners ready!" Niki called out, to which you rolled your eyes. Alex must of seen you roll your eyes because he shot you a look of concern.

---- Time skip to dinner and they're all sat at the table ---

Everyone was digging into their food talking and laughing while you hadn't touched your food and was glancing out the window. "Y/n... Y/N!" Tommy said, waving his hand infront of you. You turned to your left and sighed, looking up slightly and being met eye-to-eye with him. "Yea?" you sighed. "You good, awfully distant today.." he looked in concern. "I noticed too." Wil said filled with concern. Phil then turned to you

 (seating on left side of table was you in right corner, then tommy next to you, Wil next to tommy, Phil next to tommy, Tubbo sitting infront of you and the others next to Tubbo) 

"Guys, leave Y/n alone, sometimes we have bad days and that's okay." Phil maturely stated. Tommy seemed to drop it while Wil kept glancing at you. "Take a photo, it'll last longer" you scoffed once he glanced at you for the 3rd time. "Come with me, Y/n." he said, taking your hand and pulling you out of the caravan. The cold wind blew against your h/l hair. The sun had pretty much set and it was fairly dark out.

"Listen, Y/n. I like you, a lot. I'm still searching through my feelings but heck it's so close to love. I hate seeing you so distant and emotionless. What's going on? I care so fucking much about you. Please talk to me." Wil said.

"Fuck off." a different voice added.

1040 words