Thirteen Years

FINAL CHAPTER

Justin's POV

The seminar is finally over. Nagsalita si Ken about his business, an architectural firm where he was the Chief Operating Officer. I didn't know he co-owned KS Design & Build. I was kind of hoping that my company could partner with them for HR and Legal services kasi maganda ang business model nila. Their company provides services to design and build green smart homes. How innovative. 'Di na ako magtataka kung papatok pa ang business nila in the future. I've heard na kahit starting pa lang sila ay may mga malalaking clients na sila.

Napakakisig niya kanina habang nagsasalita siya. I must admit, he's still the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I felt proud. Jowa ka boi?

Marami siyang kinausap na tao after the talk. Ako rin naman. Pareho na kaming may-ari ng mga sari-sarili naming firms and it makes me happy to realize that both of us made it. Ako naging abogado na at nagsspecialize in Business Law and Real Estate habang siya naman ay naging Architect na at nagsspecialize in Green and Smart Architecture. Makes me wonder if ever naging kami, would we have taken the same path? Or would the both of us have completely different lives as we do right now?

May ibang mga kausap din 'yung babaeng kasama ni Ken. I heard her say to them na aalis na sila soon so I had to make my move.

"Hi." I finally called out after kong makalapit sa kanya.

"Hi, Jah." Ken said.

"Kumusta?" Small talk muna para hindi awkward.

"Ayos lang, Jah. Ikaw?"

"Maayos lang din ako, Ken. Akala ko talaga 'di mo ako papansinin." I said.

Nakita ko ang pagtataka sa kanyang mukha.

"Bakit ako? Akala ko nga ikaw ang hindi papansin sa akin."

"Galit ka pa rin ba sa akin, Ken?" Umiling siya.

"Ilang beses ko na sinabi sa'yo, Jah, hindi ako galit sa'yo. Akala ko nga ikaw 'tong may galit sa akin." Ay oo nga pala, nasagot na niya 'to dati pa.

"Wala akong galit sa'yo, Ken. Nagtampo lang siguro ako. Alam mo naman ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo, 'di ba?"

Natahimik saglit si Ken.

"Alam mo, Jah? Nalilito rin ako, eh. Sinabi mo noon na gusto mo ako pero sa mga pinapakita mo sa akin noon para bang ang laki ng galit mo sa akin. Kaya hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang totoo. Litong-lito rin ako."

I guess nabasa niya 'yung message ko sa kanya noon kasi nalaman niya o baka may nakapagsabi na sa kanya, ewan. At least ngayon alam ko nang alam talaga ni Ken ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.

"Ako rin, Ken. Nalilito rin ako sa sarili ko. Kapag nakikita kita minsan parang ayaw kong nariyan ka pero kapag wala ka hinahanap-hanap naman kita. Magulo. Naguguluhan din ako sa nararamdaman ko. I'm sorry for everything."

"No, Jah. I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong."

"Wala ka rin namang ginawang masama sa akin, Ken. Nagkataon lang talagang hindi umayon sa atin ang panahon."

Natahimik na kaming dalawa. Alam siguro naming dalawa na baka eto talaga ang binigay ng tadhana sa amin. May mga bagay talaga na pinagtagpo lang pero hindi itinadhana.

"So, okay na ba tayo, Ken?" I said. Tumingin siya sa akin ng masinsinan.

"Of course, Jah. Naka-move on ka na naman siguro sa akin, 'di ba?"

Natigilan ako. Have I?

"Yes, I have, Ken." Was all I could reply.

Siguro naka-move on na naman ako but not the kind of moving on that most people would expect. Move on in a sense na tanggap ko nang hindi magiging kami at okay na ako dun kahit sa totoo lang ay mahal ko pa rin siya. Siguro the proper term would be accepting and letting go.

"Good." He said.

"I'm glad we got a chance to see each other again, Ken." Ngumiti ako sa kanya at ganun din siya sa akin.

"Jah..." He stopped dahil tinatawag na siya ng babaeng kasama niya. Mukhang kailangan na nila umalis. "Sorry, Jah. Kailangan na namin umalis." Tumango lang ako sa kanya at nagpaalam na.

He waved goodbye bago siya tuluyang umalis. That was the only time that I noticed the gold band on his left ring finger. Siguro a part of me didn't want to accept the truth kaya matagal bago ko 'yun napansin. Maybe a part of me still wanted to try and give it a shot pero ngayon tanggap ko na that it's finally over. That even if a part of me still wanted to hold on, I needed to let go.

I watched him leave hand in hand with the girl he loves and though it breaks my heart, I smiled at them. I was genuinely happy for them.

For the final time, Goodbye Ken Suson, my first love. I probably won't love anyone the same way I loved you but I hope someday I will find someone I can love more than you and who deserves my love even more.

I am officially closing this Chapter of my love for you. I wish you all the happiness that life can bring. I love you, Ken. I probably always will but this is it for us.

Finally ending this story of ours, Justin De Dios.