The Beginning of Summer

Part 9 - Taking A Walk

My mom came home early for work, so I took a walk outside to get familiar with the town.

Taking a walk down the road is relaxing. There are kids in the streets playing and a couple of people from their office jobs were walking home. I think about what these people are thinking. Are they excited to come home because their work was stressful? Are they worried because they left their kids without dinner and that they might try to make something and gets into an accident? Or are they looking forward to spending with the people they like after a long day of stressful work? Everyone has different perspectives and thinking about what they're thinking gets me interested.

After walking around town for almost half an hour, I stop at a park and saw an empty playground. There, I sat on a swing and rocked it back and forth. I began to think about some things.

* * * * *

In the last year of elementary, I discovered that I'm into girls and boys. I don't know really know how, but I think it was because of this drama I saw on TV once. I didn't have the knowledge that it was a boys' love drama, and honestly, it was good. The plot was amazing and the chemistry of the couple is so cute, that I fell in love with the characters. It was so wholesome and pure that it almost made me explode. After that heck of a ride, it made me feel like I want to find that kind of person on the drama I watched. A caring guy who just wants to make you happy.

I have been in a relationship twice with girls in my entire years of junior high school, but I never actually got in a relationship with a guy. 

Though, I used to have a crush on one. He was in the same grade as me. I don't really base my interest on looks, but I admit that when we meet someone, we first base our interest on their appearance. He was not the best-looking guy, but when I get to know him, he was a nice, caring, and funny person who cares about their friends a lot. I found myself hanging out with him almost every day after class. I sometimes walk him to his home because for some reason, I want him to be safe, even though he looks like he's the one who needs to protect me.

One time, I did something dumb. There was an upcoming dance that will happen in our school. I told myself that once a piece of slow music is played, I'll ask him to dance.

That night, I gathered my courage to do it, but I saw him dancing with a girl. They looked at each others' eyes intimately and they kissed, but then were broken apart by one of the teachers.

That night broke me. It was not his fault. It was mine, for expecting that I could actually ask him to dance. 

Since that night, I have avoided him because it hurt every time I look at him. One time, he talked to me alone in our classroom because I've been avoiding him for days now.

I told him the truth. That I liked him, and that I was supposed to ask him to the dance, but I didn't because he kissed someone. I also told him that I was broken because of him and that I didn't blame him for it.

I thought that everything will end there, but it didn't. He was cool with me. He didn't like me back, but honestly, that's fine. He doesn't mind that I like him like that. What surprised me is that to make up for what happened, he asked me to dance with him in the classroom this instant.

It was honestly the best day of my life. He even played a piece of slow music from his phone to accompany us.

He's the kind of person that I would want if I ever get in a relationship with a guy, but I was happy that I get to meet him and became his friend.

* * * * *

It was getting dark, so I got up from the swing and walked home. As I walk, I receive a message from my mom.

Mom: Hajime, I'm sorry, but my office called and asked me to go to the office. There was an emergency and I think I won't be home for a while.

Crap, we just moved here. I don't have a spare key!

Me: I'll just wait for you here.

Mom: No, don't. You'll get sick waiting for me. Maybe ask if one of your friends is willing to let you stay for the night?

Me: Ok, I will.

I scratch my head. I guess I only have one option.