Forgetting The Ex

It's True Though

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I snap my fingers, trying to get attention,"Where are you lost Anshu?"

She only shakes her head,sighing loudly,shutting the books in front of her.

I roll my eyes,"Don't tell me you and Avyukth fought again. You guys literally patched up two days ago."

My best friend rolls her eyes, tapping the pen on the table.

"Sandy, I'm going to ask you something. Will you give me an honest answer?"

"Sounds very interesting",I pull my chair towards her,"Are you going to use an hourglass?"

"It's not funny."

"Ask away",I say bored.

"Do you still have feelings for Dhruv?"

I open my mouth,and shut it quickly when Anshu speaks again.

"And don't give me bullshit answers. Just tell me what you feel."

"Why are you asking all of a sudden?"

"We are friends. I don't need a time frame to ask you about anything."

I frown,"I...I don't love him anymore. It's not like I like him or want to be with him. It's just that...I was so used to him. He was a part of my routine that I'm finding hard to let go."

Anshu frowns,"What?"

"See. I don't really have proper feelings for him or anything like that. But it's just that...thing you know. He was a part of my life,a very important one. Even though I have no intentions of getting back with him,I have this weird curiosity of how he's doing,where he is,what he's upto and all that. But that being said, it's not like I'm interested in his life. He's just there. Someone I know. That's all."

"That makes zero sense."

I huff,"Okay fine. No. I don't have romantic feelings for him.'

"So why are you so affected by him?"

"Because I'm mad at him",I say softly,"He never listened to my side of the story. He just...left me like that, without the closure I found necessary. It just seems",I shrug, looking down,"Incomplete,you know. It's like that part of my life is just left unfinished. And no matter how much I want to move on,you can never close an unfinished book,how much ever you hate it. The urge to complete it,to look at it's ending,however sad it maybe is always there."

Anshu nods,"I kind of get it."

"Why are we talking about Dhruv all of a sudden?"

Anshu grabs the pen from my hand,making me frown.

"What are you doing?"

"Preventing you from stabbing me",she mumbles.

I give her a weird look,"What?"

"I really think you should give Nikhil a chance, Sandy."

I roll me eyes,shaking my head,"Nice try."

"Seriously",Anshu presses,"He still likes you."

"Anshu!",I exclaim.

"Really. He does."

I shake my head,"Did he tell you that?"

"No. But he told Avyukth,in a slightly subtle manner."

My face twists,"But he was the one who first denied for the wedding. Though I did too,but later."

"He thinks you still like Dhruv."

"Anshu please,"I rub my forehead,"I'm just happy with how things are right now. I don't want to complicate my life. What he thinks doesn't matter to me.And...Nikhil and I are a closed chapter. Our parents are aware of our decisions. There's literally no use digging it up now and thinking of hypothetical scenarios."

"Sandy",Anshu bites her lower lip,"Nikhil applied for senior residency in our college and KIMS."

Colour drains from my face,"Isn't it usually easy to get Senior Residency in the college you've studied?"

"Yeah",Anshu nods, worried.

I shut my eyes,"Okay fine",I take a deep breath,"So what if Nikhil decides to work in our hospital. His department is different from mine. And it doesn't really matter",I pause,"He should really give up though. If I couldn't see him as more than a friend then,how can he think I can change my mind now? It's going to be a waste of time if he even remotely expects something like that from me."

"Yeah. But I still think", Anshu presses her lips,"It's better to be with someone who loves you than someone you love."

"Keep your Pinterest quotes to yourself."

"It's true though", Anshu shrugs.

I roll me eyes,stretching my limbs,"I'll pass that bridge when I get to it."

Hello again 👋

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Until next time.
Ruvya❤️