Exquisite

Flashfire

A/N: No spoilers. 

Special dedication to @devil_169 for their love and support. This is for you.

~Damen~

There was one memory from Mom's death that would always remain crystal clear in the back of my head, no matter how many years pass by. If I concentrate hard enough it's like I'm in the moment again, reliving every detail.

It was me, tugging at Cassien's blue shirt with pink cars on it. He wouldn't meet my eye as he held a sleeping Vivienne in his arms, taking us to the car waiting outside. "Is mom okay?" I repeated the question for what felt like the hundredth time. "Cassien, where is Mom?"

He finally looked at me, his dark eyes brimming with tears.

That was it, the memory.

I knew then - without anyone telling me in words - that my mother, the woman who baked fudgy brownies with orange essence in them and sang about rainbows with pots of gold at their ends was gone. 

I also understood that day what true terror felt like. What it's like to be crippled by fear to the point that you're not even sure if you're alive, if the blood that's throbbing in your ears and your head is your own. 

"We found her on the road, Boss. She's ... she's not in a good shape and we're taking her to the hospital because I don't think we can afford even a moment's delay." A beat of silence. "I saw the blood, Damen. I'm - there's a high possibility that ... that she still might not make it."

I was vaguely aware of getting into a car and Cassien shouting things, no blood in his face at all and body trembling like a leaf. Of him mouthing words at me and of myself nodding to them. Of how cold I was in my clothes that still smelled of her. 

Her. She was everywhere, like the golden heat of the sun or the silver rays of the full moon. Everywhere, all at once. 

I could hear her reciting the Laws of Thermodynamics with her head on my shoulder, the feel of her fingers tightly gripping mine. The tinkling sound of her laugh when I touched her button nose, the warmth of her lips on mine when her fingers curled in my hair and the scent of oranges in her skin. 

She couldn't leave me like this, cold and alone. Not now. Not today.

"She can't go." The words left my mouth all crooked and wrong as Cassien's eyes fell shut. "Not when -"

Not when I was falling in love with her. 

"Do you know how many men she took down?" My brother's voice was a broken whisper as I turned to look at him. For the first time in years, he looked ashen. No fight left anymore in the man who had brought a country to its knees. 

"Seven. Alone, unprepared and all with a stone from the pavement and the laces of her shoes."

The ice in my chest thawed, replaced by a blooming fire that threatened to consume me as I imagined her all alone in the dark, her fists bloodied and her cries unheard. 

"I will kill them." Not an easy death, no. I would rip them apart nail by nail, skin to bone and watch them bleed. "For her."

"Don't do that." Cassien snapped. "Don't talk like she's gone. She's a fucking fighter, D. I - I refuse to believe she'll go down this easy." 

I could see the glint of her eyes in the moonlight that night. 

She's the Goddess of the Hunt. The wolves can't hurt her.

The car stopped and for a merciful moment, I forgot about everything as Vivienne's trembling body launched into my arms.

"I'm so sorry." She could barely stand upright but she was fine, not a scratch on her. I pulled her to myself, relief thrumming in my bones as I thanked a God I didn't believe in. 

"I left her." She croaked as Cassien pulled her from me and held her so tight that she gasped. "Cass, D - she ... for me, she - alone," 

"It's going to be alright, Viv." I didn't know what I'd do if it wasn't. "It's not your fault. It's going to be okay." I wasn't sure who I was talking to at this point; her or me. 

But I knew this: We weren't done. I would drag Neith back from the doors of Death itself if that's what it took to bring her back in my arms, to have her voice in my ear and her touch on my skin again. 

"Where is she?"

It was Valdez who answered me, making me realize he had been standing next to my sister this whole time. "OT." His eyes flickered to my brother uncertainly before he continued, his teeth gritted.

"When I found ... she was - there were knives sticking out of her. The doctors haven't stepped out of the operation theatre since we brought her in; a nurse told me that they're trying to minimize essential organ damage."

I couldn't breathe, the collar of my shirt like a noose around my throat. "Is - will she, did ..?" 

"All we can do is wait." He admitted, rubbing his face with a hand. "I've maximized security around the hospital so the three of you can stay here for as long as it takes." 

As long as it takes.

I had promised her that I'll wait.

...

In my dream, she was screaming in pain. 

Her body was curled into itself, blood soaking the white shirt she was wearing. It was everywhere, marking the ivory paleness of her skin as she called out for me over and over before it was quiet. Completely quiet. 

I choose you. 

I woke up with a start, blinking as the couch swam into my vision with Cassien and Vivienne dozing on it. Viv was talking in her sleep, her eyebrows bunched together and fingers clenched into fists. 

"Mr. Everett?" 

That's what had woken me up - I realized as ice trickled down my spine - the cough of a woman in scrubs. 

"Sir, are you awake?"

Please, don't take her away. Please. I can't go back to a world and pretend to live again without her in it. "Yes."

"The young lady is probably one of the most resilient patients I've come across. I doubt if anything other than a bullet straight to her head can take her away from us." 

Oxygen.

It flooded into my lungs all of a sudden, making me lightheaded as I felt tears blur my vision to the point that the doctor was nothing more than a white blob. "Wha - what?" 

Her rough hand squeezed mine in a motherly gesture. "She's severely injured and will take quite some time to heal completely but yes, she's out of danger. The sedatives will wear off in an hour or so after which ..."

I couldn't hear the rest as my knees gave way, my face wet with hot tears as I cried like a fucking child. A little while later I could feel Cassien's arms around me and Vivienne's shriek of pure joy but in front of me was just one image, sharp and crystal clear:

Laughing blue eyes like a midnight summer sky.