Liar (SaruMi)

Thirteen

As promised, Fushimi started to come clean about everything, starting from the very beginning, or at least the point that he could remember. With his arm securely around Yata, he spoke to the other without breaking any kind of eye contact, and while keeping a straight face.

"It all started Sophomore year...the year I had to end everything with you. The Pink Clan had just started making themselves known around that time. Slowly people were starting to disappear without any kind of trace, people who were slowly losing their grip on their sanity, or who had been emotionally damaged. I ended up being one of their targets, but I refused to join them. Once I refused, everything around me had gone dark. I don't fully know what they did to me still but I know ever since that day I've been their main target and they had been looking for ways to get to me. According to Munakata, they did something to my head that was triggering my sanity to slip, but not only that, they ended up discovering what was most important to me. I knew what they had discovered the moment I had been told, which meant I had to do the very thing I did not want to do. I had to separate myself from you..." Fushimi sighed quietly, his grasp on Yata only tightened slightly. Talking about this was more painful than he originally thought it would be.

"What the hell are you talking about...? You had to separate yourself from me?" Yata's confusion only worsened. Fushimi didn't expect him to get it right away, but that was fine. They had plenty of time.

"That's right, and I knew how stubborn you were. It wasn't going to be easy to get you to stay away from me...so I had to take desperate measures. I was going to leave Homra regardless of what happened, so I ended up using it to my advantage. I knew how much pride you had in that damn clan, how much respect you had for that lazy ass king...so I used all of that to hurt you to the point where you would hate me. However, I didn't expect you to take the turn you did. I expected you to use what I did as a fuel for hatred toward me, but instead you crumbled, you broke down and let everything get to you. I thought that what I did had ended up working, if they knew how much I had hurt you then maybe they'd end up leaving you alone or something, but it turns out they were just waiting for the right moment. The moment where you were at your weakest point so you would be easier to apprehend. However, they didn't expect me to continue to watch you from a distance." Shaking his head slightly, Fushimi had paused once again to allow Yata time to catch up.

"Saruhiko, if everything you're telling me is true then why did you go so far? Why did you have to hurt me that badly when you could have just told me what was going on?" Yata clenched his own fists. He still couldn't tell if Fushimi was actually telling the truth or not. He didn't know what to believe at this point.

"I couldn't tell you. It was too dangerous, that was why I had to do what I did. I told you, I was hoping that would turn into fueled hatred but instead you ended up spirling into a pit of depression... I wanted you to hate me because..." He didn't know if he could actually say his next couple of words. The main reason he wanted Yata to hate him was for a pretty selfish reason, but he had already come this far so there was no point in keeping it a secret.

"Because...?" Yata asked after Fushimi had been silent for several minutes. Their conversation had already come this far, it would be pointless to stop now, especially when he was finally getting some kind of answers out of the raven.

"...I want you to be the one to kill me if I ever get captured by that Pink Clan... I'd rather die by your hand than have to live my life as some mindless puppet, but I also know that asking such a thing of you is beyond selfish, that's why I kept my distance for so long. I thought that if I did that, they would leave you alone and I could continue to avoid them, then the day would never come..." Fushimi finally looked away from Yata's face, his gaze falling to the sheets that covered them. "I don't know how much longer I can keep running from them... They're going to succeed in catching me eventually, with or without you in their possession. Each day that passes, my sanity slowly slips away, giving them more to work with. I wish I would have told you about this sooner, maybe then it wouldn't be so hopeless...but I guess now is better than not at all. So Misaki..." Once again Fushimi paused, only to once again meet Yata's gaze. "Can I count on you to be the one to kill me if the time comes?"