still friends?

nineteen

TW: Brief mentions of self-harm.

"I'm so sorry," Billie cried as she wrapped her arms around me.

"It's okay," I rubbed soft circles on her back.

"No, it's not. I should have stayed. I fucked up and then I left you."

"Billie, it's okay. I swear."

She pulled away from the hug, holding both my hands in hers. She looked me in the eyes for a moment before sliding up the sleeve on my arm. She looked at it closely, seeing no new marks. She checked my other wrist and sighed in relief before pulling me into another hug.

"You didn't hurt yourself somewhere else did you?" She whispered into my ear.

"No."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"I couldn't stop thinking about you, M."

"Hey," I put both my hands on her cheeks, "I'm okay, I promise."

She nodded slowly, placing her hands on my hips and pulling me in for a kiss. I know I shouldn't, but I feel ashamed. Should I keep listening to my heart? Kissing her because I want it, even though I know it's going to hurt even more in the end. It's not smart but I can't help it when the most beautiful girl in the world is standing in front of me.

-

"Only a few more eggs left!" Maggie announced to us.

"Give us a hint!" I shouted back, running around the yard like a crack head.

"NO! We don't need no hints," Billie yelled back.

"FOUND ONE!" Claudia exclaimed, holding up a yellow egg with pride.

"Bitch," Billie muttered under her breath.

"Relax Bil, this is supposed to be a team effort," I chuckled at her.

"You've all found way more than me, I'm not feeling in." Billie pouted like a child.

"Okay," I said in a sing-song voice.

I kept running around the yard searching for eggs. Finneas, Claudia and I found a few more before Maggie told us there was one left. I found it tapped under a table but decided to walk away from it.

"Billie, have you looked by the table? I haven't checked there yet."

She ran over to the table searching around it. I watched her bend under the table and saw her eyes light up.

"FUCK YEAH," she shouted, holding up the egg in the sky.

"Congrats Bil," I laughed.

"Wow, look at you. Finding a total of two eggs," Finneas made fun. Billie smacked his arm making him laugh.

It's my first Easter without my parents and I honestly don't care at this point. All that happens is they talk about how, 'Jesus is the reason for the season', and give us some chocolate. A lot less exciting than the O'Connells traditions.

After finding all the eggs that Patrick and Maggie had found, we pieced the puzzle together. Patrick went inside grabbing a huge tray of chocolate and other various treats.

"Thanks for having me here," I smiled at Maggie and Patrick as everyone sat around talking and eating.

"Of course Millie, you've been apart of the family for as long as I can remember," Patrick smiled back, Maggie nodding in agreement.

"I'm stealing her," Billie interrupted, pulling me off of my chair. I grabbed my chocolate quickly before she dragged me inside.

She let go of me when we got to her room and I plopped down on her bed as she closed her door. I leaned against the wall, eating the chocolate.

"Where does your mom get this? It's so good," I moaned as I bit into the chocolate.

"She makes it," Billie shrugged, walking over to the bed.

"damn," I mumbled.

She sat right in front of me with her legs crossed and smiled at me. "Hi," she smirked.

"Hi," I smiled back, "So, why did you drag me away from the party?"

"Because I missed you."

"I was there the whole time..."

"Maybe I also wanted to kiss you," she smirked.

"Oh?" I raised a brow, setting down my chocolate.

"Mhm," she hummed as she placed her hand on my cheek.

Her lips met mine for a second before pulling away and she pecked them over and over again making me giggle. She finally kept her lips on mine and instantly darted her tongue into my mouth. I moaned into the kiss as her hand went down my cheek and lightly wrapped around my neck.

"You taste like chocolate," She mumbled in between.

The kiss continued to get heated as our breathing got heavier. Her hands moved down my sides as she started peppering kisses on my jaw and down to my neck. Her hand slowly travelled up my thigh teasingly.

"Bil, Millie!" We heard Finneas shout through the door.

I quickly pushed Billie off of me quickly but she went straight back to kissing my lips.

"We're changing," I shouted back before Billie kept kissing me.

"We're playing a game, want to join?" He said through the door.

"I can't stop kissing you," Billie whispered, her hand getting dangerously close to my core.

"Yeah, we'll be right there!" I yelled back.

"Billie," I whispered.

"Hmm?" She hummed as she started kissing my neck softly.

"We have to-" I cut myself letting out a breathy moan as she reached a sensitive spot on my neck.

"We have to what, baby?" She mumbled on my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"Go, we have to go."

"Hmm, this is more fun," I felt her smirk on my neck.

"I'm going to the bathroom and then meet me out there," I said to her, finally releasing her hold.

I walked over to my suitcase, as Billie laid back and watched me with a smirk on her face. I grabbed a fresh thong and wrapped it into my fist.

"What ya got there?" She winked.

"If you must know," I mumbled, walking up to her, "I'm soaking."

With that, I ran out of the room and into the bathroom. I quickly cleaned myself up and threw my thong in the hamper. Walking into the dining room, everyone including Billie was sat around.

"I thought you said you were changing?" Finneas asked with a smug look.

A/N: sorry it's been 2 days and this isn't even a good chapter.

hopefully I'll have time to write more this weekend.

I didn't proof read this...