still friends?

twenty-one

a/n: didn't proof read this again

TW: Self-harm. Sarts at beginning of the chapter. I'll bold the last word so you can skip if it is triggering. There is an important part in the middle of it but It will be pretty clear throughout the rest of the chapter about what happened.

"Millie?" I hear Billie ask through the door.

My body freezes as I hear Billie call my name. I stand there with shaky hands, trying to figure out what to do.

"M, you in there?" She knocks.

"Ugh, yeah," I mumble as I toss the blade into the hamper and slip on the long sleeve shirt I brought into the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" She calls through the door with concern laced in her voice.

"Yeah, yeah," I clear my throat, slowly opening the door so she doesn't get suspicious.

I watch her as she looks me up and down and asks me again, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I try to fake the most real-looking smile I could.

"No," she shakes her head as her eyes become glossy, "Don't lie to me, I can see the blood."

A lump grows in my throat as a tear rolls down my cheek. I look down and sure enough, the blood has seeped through the white shirt. She walks up to me quickly and wraps her arms around me, I bury my head in the crook of her neck; desperately attempting to hold in cries.

"What happened?" She whispers into my ear.

"I don't know," I sniff even though I know exactly what thoughts were swirling in my head that led me to do this.

"Sit down," she instructs softly, pulling away from the hug.

I close the lid of the toilet and sit down, fidgeting with my jittery hands. My leg bounces up and down as I watch her pull out a few things from the medicine cabinet. Without a word she grabs a cloth and runs it under the water. Silent tears fall, watching her kneel in front of me. I can tell she's holding back tears as her tics start.

"I'm sorry," I mumble as she carefully rolls up my sleeve and studies the cuts for a moment; blood still running.

She stands back up and tugs at the bottom of my shirt. I nod my head and she slips it over my head, walking to the hamper. I can tell she saw the blade when she stares for a second. She grabs the sharp piece of metal and tosses my shirt into the hamper.

Silently she turns the water back on in the sink and throws the bloody blade down the drain; causing me to erupt in cries. I bury my face into my hands, feeling her place her hands onto my thighs softly.

"You don't need that, M," she assures me; pulling one of my arms down from my face. She places the damp cloth onto my wrist, applying pressure to stop the bleeding.

"I'm about to ask you something but I want you to know it's not just because of what you did," she stammered. I could tell she was nervous and so was I. I nodded my head for her to continue as she kept applying pressure.

"I've been thinking about this a lot and I'm sorry it's taken me so long," she apologized sincerely, moving one of her hands to cup my cheek. I stared into her blue eyes, my heart skipping a beat.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" She smiled shyly.

"For real?" I whispered out in shock. She nodded with a sheepish smile.

"Of course I will," I sniffled, using my spare hand to wipe away my tears as a smile tugged on the corners of my lips.

"Good," she let out a sigh of relief, making me giggle.

If only she had asked this before I took a shower, there maybe wouldn't be new cuts on my arm.

-

"I'm still scared but I know that when I'm around you, I'm happier than when I'm around anyone else. Even if we're doing nothing" Billie admitted as we lay in her bed cuddled up.

"What exactly are you scared of?" I questioned, trying to hide the smile on my face.

"I don't know, just that I'll fuck up and hurt you..." she trailed off, "let me rephrase... hurt you again."

I glanced down at the sheets, "Billie," I sighed, "You didn't-"

"Millie, I know full well that what you did this morning is because of me," She cut me off.

"I didn't hurt myself because of you. Yeah, the thoughts messing with my brain came up because of the situation we were in, but the reason I did it is because I was insecure," I explained truthfully.

"I'm still sorry," she placed her hand on my cheek.

"You still have no reason to be sorry, but I forgive you," I smiled.

Billie leaned forward attaching her lips to mine in a heartfelt kiss.

"Wha- ohhhh."

We both quickly pulled away, seeing Claudia standing at Billie's door with a smirk on her face.  I hurriedly hopped off the bed and dragged her into the room, closing the door behind us. I sat her down on the bed and glanced back and forth between Billie and Claudia for a moment.

Billie looked excited, with a small grin on her face. Claudia matched her excitement with the look in her eyes as I stood there frozen.

"Soo," Claudia smirked, "You two?" She asked, pointing between the two of us.

"Mhm," Billie hummed.

"This is so exciting," Claudia squealed.

"Millie, would you relax?" Billie laughed, opening up her arms for me to come and sit.

"You're not worried about people knowing?" I asked her, moving slowly towards the bed.

"Not Claudia," she shook her head. I nodded and sat between her legs, my back pressed against her front.

"You guys are so cute," Claudia smiled, placing a hand over her heart dramatically.

"Shut up," I laughed, kicking her playfully.

"Okay wait, so your official or just friends with benefits?" She asked for clarification.

"Official," Billie announced with pride in her voice, making me smile like a clown.

"Who all knows?"

"Just you," I replied.

"let's tell Finneas?" She asked me, wrapping her arms around my shoulder, linking her hands in front of me.

"Sure," I shrugged.

Claudia started getting up off the bed but Billie stopped her for a second, "No word of this to my parents yet," She told Claudia sternly.

"Why?" Claudia asked, turning around to look at us.

"So I can sleep with my girlfriend in peace."

Claudia laughed and nodded before leaving the room to get Finneas.

"Girlfriend, I like the way that rolls off my tongue. Millie, my girlfriend," Billie repeated to herself making me laugh.

"You're adorable," I smiled, turning back so I could look at her face.

"What? I was having a very serious conversation with dad about- ohhh," Finneas spoke as Claudia dragged him into the room.

"Y'all are finally together?" He cheesed.

"Finally?" I furrowed my brows.

"I've been waiting since the day you both hit puberty," he chuckled.

A/N: They finally official!!!

You all thought Millie would become a stoner. I'm still debating on that...