Vicki POV
"STOP IT" I shouted to myself, I need to stop cutting myself. I Threw the razor out of my hand and it flew on the other side of my room. I took one good look at my arm, it had about 30 cuts on it. I don't know why I cut. I guess because I suffer from depression, and Anorxia and it doesn't help that I also get bullied heaps at school. I guess I cut myself, to get the pain from the inside outside. I hated cutting myself really I did.
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A Month passed and I was still cutting myself, I need to find a new way to get rid of them pain which has formed inside of me. I was on the internet and I was looking for what people did, how they lost their pain. Some where just saying they would just cry, cut themselves like what I do, or take drugs a lot of people did take drugs most took heroin. That night before I went to sleep, I was thinking should I take heroin? or is that just a horrible and stupid thing to do, I kept myself up all night thinking about it. When the sun rose, I hoped right out of bed got dressed, had breakfeast, brushed my teeth, and hair. I went to school, and yet again it was horrible, a girl named, Amanda, She was that made my life hell! Everyday should make up some romour about me and spread it around some didn't last long, some did, she started calling me a slut, whore, bitch. And what was worse that we were in almost in all the same classes together. I arrived at school, soon as I went to my locker I heard my name coming from the distance, "Hey Vicki!!" I saw my best friend, Jessica come running to me. She is the only friend I have, ever since Amanda spread those romours around everybody left me excpect, Jessica, we have been friends for 5 years now, and she has helped me through everything, specially when I was in those dark places like where I was now. School again was shit, but it was like that every day, I would always get called names, including my teachers they would get angry at me if I didn't know a answer to a question, and thing that people would do but blame it on me and I would get into trouble for it. My life was hell, I wanted to end it, no one cared about me well excpect for my family and Jessica of course. No one would give a fuck I was gone.
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That night after school, I went looking for Heroin. I was in the deepest darkness anyone could ever get. I knew people who sell drugs, so I went to them. "Hey Vicki" They greeted me nicely "Hi, I was wondering do you have any heroin" I asked regretting it tho. "Yes we do I'll go grab it"He went to the back of the store and grabbed it and handed it to me. "Okay, that would be seventy-five dollars." I grabbed my purse and handed him my seventy-five dollars. "Thanks" I said as I left the store. I started having second throughts about taking the drug, I knew it was a bad idea but I would take away the pain. I took the needle from my pocket and injected it into my arm. After thrity seconds after having heroin, I was feeling great, the pain inside me vanished, Man I loved this stuff, I injected the whole needle into me.
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When I arrived home my parents were worried sick "WHERE WERE YOU!" They shouted at me "umm.. I was no where..." I replied quickly. My dad walked up to me and stared right into my dark black eyes. "I don't want to ask you again... WHERE WERE YOU!" He shouted "I was just out with a couple of friends" I answered as I walked to my bedroom. I hated lying to my parents but I had to. I sat on the edge of my bed and grabbed my ipod, and placed my eye phones in my ears, I went into my playlist to the Marianas Trench section, and played Skin and Bones this song was my favourite song by them, the song remembered me so much of myself, with being skin and bones because of me having Bulmica and Anorxia, and how I am also addicated to Heroin now, and that how I cut myself. During the night I was craving for Heroin. I decided to get changed into my black skinny, and put on my Ever After Marianas Trench T-Shirt, with a black hoody. I open my window wide enough so I can climb through it. I jumped down from my window, I ran to the back gate "Dam its locked" I through my bag over the gate and climbed it, Landing on my butt. I stood up prushing the dirt off my pants. I called David letting him know I wanted more heroin
"Hello David its Vicki"
"Yes, want do you want?"
"I want $100 worth of Heroin"
"Okay, meet me at the spot."
"Okay, thanks bye" Before He could say bye I hung up. I walked over to the spot where we normally met.
"Okay here is your Heroin" He handed me the Heroin, then I handed him the $100.
"Nice doing business with you" He said giving me an evil smirk. I went looking for a nice quiet place where I could take the Heroin. I walked around for about ten mintues, I finally found a good place, it was dark and quiet. I walked down to the very end of the ally, and sat in th conner of the building behind me. I grabbed the Heroin from my bad and injected one Heroin into me, then another, then another. I have had about 4 now, I think it was another for tonight. I got feeling really dizzy, I couldn’t see where I was going. I was walking into trash cans, and another stuff I had no idea what it was. "FUCK!" I yelled as I feel over something. I finally found my way home, and did manage to climb the gate and find my way to my room and climb through the window. I didn’t bother getting changed into my Pj’s, I was so tired, I blonged myself on my bed and I feel asleep in secends. I woke up that morning with a massive headace. I jumped out of bed and went to go eat some breakfeast. When I walked into the Kitchen, my parents were crying.I was so confussed but I made a joke out of it. "Who Died?" I said sarcastically. My dad turned to me. "No one died!" He shouted. "Where were you last night?" He asked
"I was in my room sleeping"
"No you where not" I said, as I looked at my arm. He saw what I was staring at. He walked up to me and took my arm in his hand, he saw the needle holes in my arm.
"THATS IS IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH, YOU GO BACK UP AND LEAVE!" He shouted, I was horrifed I have never seen my dad so angry.
"But Dad"
"NOT BUTS, LEAVE!" He pointed at the door telling me to leave.
"FINE THEN, I HATE YOU" I shouted at my dad as I ran into my room slamming the door behind me. I grabbed a bag from under my bed and threw in what I could can in it. Clothes, Blankets, whatever I needed. I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulders, as I was walking out the front door, I turned to my dad and stuck the middle finger at him and then slammedthe front door behind me. When I walked for about 2 hours, I realized I had no place to go and I had to live out on the street. It has been two week since I have been on the streets, I was straving, I Need more drugs I was dying for them. Every once and while, I would call up David and help him sell drugs, then I would get money then I would buy my own stuff, like, Food, Fresh Water, but mostly Heroin. I was liturelly skin and Bones now. I haven't eaten in months, you could see my rips, you could see every bone on me. I eventully throught of a place to go, I decided to go live with my boyfriend even tho he is the nicest of people he was my only option. Knock Knock "Hello? Vicki what are you doing here?" He asked as he opened the door. "I was kicked out of the house and no I have no where to go"
"Okay, you can live with me for a bit" He said, I was so relieved that he allowed me to live with him. It has been over a month that I have been living with him and he seems to get more more vioilent with me. One night it was nearly middnight I was was really craving for Heroin, so I jumped out of bed put on my black skinny jeans, and red shirt and a blue hoodie. By the time I found David to get the Heroin and take it, it was 3am in the morning, I needed to get back home. I found my way back to my boyfriends, Louie, place when I walked into his apartment he was awake sitting on the bed staring at me "Where have you been?" He asked calmily. "I couldn't sleep I just went for a walk," I lied, He stood up from his bed and walked over to me and looked into my eye and slapped me across the face. "TELL ME THE TRUTH!" He souted "I already told you I was out for a walk" He again slapped me across the face, I pushed him away and ran out through the door. Making my way out of the building. And Yet again I was left out on the streets with nothing so this time was worse. I had no money, no clothes, no food or Water and specially no heroin.
