Her Thoughts

mother,

I remember when you used to protect me as if I was your treasure that nobody could ever touch. I remember when you used to take my side when someone hurt me, when someone hit me, I remember you got so mad that you kind of threw a tantrum... saying how dare you hit my daughter. I remember when I was so precious to you, that I somehow felt like your shining star. I remember how you would dress me up and made me feel pretty and that you were so proud to have me. I remember when you used to brag bout me being your daughter. I remember when I got home from school, you would come to me and hug me, asking how my day was and telling me that I must be tired and I should get some rest while you would cook for the family. I remember when you trying to hide you crystal tear when you got up to the stage to represent me. I remember when you always forgave me for the things that I did. I remember when I got abducted and the kidnapper took my gold necklace, and when I got back to you, the thing you were worried about was me and not the 2600$ necklace. I remember,  

but now I am hurting and why you are the reason?

How silly was I that I thought those will last forever, how silly was I that I thought I will always be your shining star, how silly am I that I think if I hurt, scar myself you will come and care about me. Oh, silly me.

It hurts, still,

because whenever I had a breakdown, I would wish you would come and hug me, tell me that everything will be fine. When I did any mistakes. I would wish you'll still forgive me for being to careless. Whenever I got my results, you would want to ask and if it wasn't as great as it should, you would say, you can always try again...

but these days you just didn't care don't you 

but hey, maybe it was me. I just getting used in putting my hopes to high and get disappointed the next that I stop wishing, I stop showing, I start hiding and wishing you will never know, but of course deep inside, I will always wish for a motherly love.

They said mother will know everything,

and if that's true, then why do you act like you're too clueless? That I started making up conclusion that I was never worth to be care as much. 

can I still get your hug?