Help(ed) (a readerxavengers)

Chapter 15

"What about Loki?" Steve asked letting go of me "I'm gonna miss him.." I pleaded "sorry kid, Loki can't come. Now go say bye and we're leaving." I pouted and rolled my eyes, then walked away. Steve was like... A much older cousin... who loved me and was sometimes bossy but still kind of got into shenanigans with me. Sometimes I yell at him I hate him but he knows I don't mean it. That's only when I'm super mad. I walked over to Loki and hugged him "I love you, okay? I'm gonna miss you so I want you to keep my teddy bear." I handed him my worn-out teddy bear and he started to cry looking down. I wiped his tears "lady Winnie please don't leave-" he begged, I started to cry myself "I'm sorry Loki... but I have to, I wish you could come with me..." he gave me puppy eyes. "I'm staying Steve," I said smiling, then Loki smiled
The next thing I knew, I was stabbed in the neck with a needle "WHAT THE HE- Woah- I-" then I fell.

24 hours later

I woke up in my bedroom on earth. God fucking damn it- I got up quietly and locked my door. I went to my chest of drawers, and oh so quietly opened my sock drawer, I dug to the bottom, and in a sock, inside a Polaroid film box was a black pocket knife. I took it out and went to my bathroom, taking off my shirt. I held the knife to my arm, and pressed it into it, and sliced down. I held my eyes shut as hard as I could trying not to make any noise, then put gauze over it. I put on my light pink hoodie and put my knife back inside the box, inside the sock, under all of my other socks. I left my room, to see Steve and my dad on the couch. They looked nervous "ahem...hey Winnie.." Steve said after coughing. "Hey." You said neutrally "you're not- mad?" Steve asked. You didn't want to be mad, you had already gotten your anger out. "N-No. I understand." You stuttered "oh... well in that case... let's go get burgers." You guys left to get burgers

1 month later

You were doing horrible. Faking every emotion. But you had to be good, it was Christmas after all. Your arm was... well-covered from top to bottom in scars old and new. You woke around 8, it was quiet, too quiet. You got up and looked out your window, it was covered in snow. You couldn't even see out of it. you ran to your dad's room and jumped onto him "DAD ITS CHRISTMAS! AND WERE LOCKED IN CAUSE OF the SNOW! You heard something from the closet "dad- what was that?" You asked, "shit- go wake up Steve I'll be in the living room in one minute." You nodded and ran to Steve's room "STEVE!! Let GOOOOO ITS CHRISTMAS AND I WANNA OPEN PRESENTS." You demanded steve slowly sat up "ok okay kid-" he laughed. you guys got up and walked to the living room. tons of presents sat before you. you looked excited, thrilled. You wore green flannel PJ pants and a black hoodie. you heard the elevator. you turned around and saw Loki, and thor walk in. your jaw dropped you ran and tackled Loki to the ground "MY LOVE!" you giggled and hugged him and helped him back up. he was crying "oh lady winnie, I missed you so dearly." you pecked him on the cheek. "oh, my sweet loki. welcome to my home. come with me." you led him to your bedroom, he smiled entering, yOuRe room was repainted then before. It was a dark green, and gold and black furniture. He smiled big as he walked in holding your hand "oh my Winnie, you like my style huh?" He chuckled. You smiled and stood on your chair so you would be a little taller then him, putting your forehead on his. You're dad walked in "Winnie- AYE- NO BOYS IN MY DAUGHTERS ROOM!" Tony yelled. You laughed and pulled loki out. You guys went and sat by the Christmas tree.
Gifts where passed out. Hot coco was drank, and love was given out. You guys sat at the dinning room table. And where sharing memories. "Oh i remember when i first adopted winnie, she was so malnourished. Its been a wonderful ride, seeing her become more physically and and mentally healthy." Your dad smiled, tearing up. You felt an enormous amount of guilt. You werent in a good place.. you begin to panic "winnie, when was the last time you self harmed anyways? A month? Two?" Steve asked smiling. You got even more nervous, feeling anxiety run through your veins. "Whats wrong my dear?" Loki asked, you had zoned out and you looked up, trying your best to put on this mask of happiness "oh yea sorry- i zoned out." You smiled big. Loki looked concerned "dear, i forgot my suit jacket in your room, for the ball tonight? Could we go get it?" Loki asked and you got up. You guys walked to your room "sweet heart whats going on?" He asked as the two of you entered your bedroom "its just- i- well- the thing is- never mind." You said attempting to get words out, but clearly failing. "Dear... may i see your wrists?" Loki asked slowley. You panicked,he couldnt see them.
"What?? No- its not that its just-" you stumbled- and fell over. Darkness slowly caved in. Next thing you knew, everything was black.

I honestly don't know what to say. Except thanks for reading? Sorry i haven't updated in almost a year.