Behind These Hazel Eyes [The Blacklist AU]

Chapter 7: Troublemaker

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as I recognized the tears that were streaming down my cheeks like waterfalls.

Those memories hurt so much.

And the problem was, while Derek tried to drive my father insane with his story, he at the same time hurt me.
Because it was not his, but our story.
Although I tried to keep those memories locked in my head, I simply couldn't deny it.

Why for god's sake did he had to come back? Why now? And why this way?

Derek had told me that my father had willingly surrendered himself to the FBI. But why did he do that? We had absolutely no idea about his whereabouts. So, why did he surrender himself?

This question echoed in my head over and over again. And as much as I tried to find an answer to this question, I couldn't find any.

Maybe- and that was just a thought that has crossed my mind- he did it to be close to me.

I chuckled quietly as I thought about that idea.

It was ridiculous and probably just the little girl inside of me that was still dreaming about a caring father.
As much as I wanted to deny it but part of me- even if it was just the slightest- imagined he had come back because he wanted to be with me agin, because he still had some feelings left for me. But that was probably just a dream, wishful thinking.

I wrapped my arms around my body tightly, trying to catch my breath.

I couldn't stay here any longer.

So, I quickly got up and wiped away my tears, heading towards the door.

And for a second, I thought I had realized a change in his eyes as he looked at me while I left the surveillance room.

Then, I walked through the empty hallway back to my office where I sat down at my desk.

I ran my fingers through my hair, buried my head in my hands and uttered a sigh.

My head was a mess!

Suddenly, someone knocked at the door.

I raised my head and turned around.

"Agent Shaw?", Zack asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?", I replied, trying to hide the pain in my voice, "What's up?"

"Uhm, I got some information on that guy you wanted a backup check from", he explained and handed me a sheet of paper, "His name is Linus Brooks."

I had almost forgotten about that.

"Thank you, Zack", I whispered and smiled sadly.

He half smiled back at me.

"Uhm, I got an address of him if you...", he mumbled, scratching his head, "I've added it to the bottom of the page."

I nodded slightly.

He always did good work.

"Are you okay?", he then asked with this sorrowful look in his eyes.

"Yeah", I lied, faking a weak smile, "I'm just... Tired."

"Well, the past few days have been pretty exhausting", he agreed jokingly.

I let out a quiet laughter.

"Thanks", I said again then.

He nodded quickly and left me alone again.

Immediately, I examined the sheet of paper closed.

"Linus Brooks", I mumbled almost inaudibly, studying his information closely.