today would've been our two year anniversary.
next week will be two months apart
and i can't really remember what was going through my head that night.
i haven't stopped feeling guilty.
i haven't stopped feeling empty.
i can't process the presence you hold in my thoughts
unless i'm drunk or eating pills like candy.
i drunk texted you begging for your love back
but you never opened it.
i unsent the message weeks later
while my room spun around me.
i think i lied when i said
that i need space to heal alone.
i haven't done any healing
only self destruction in ways you didn't allow.
i want to shake you and
shake you out of me.
i want to go back to before you promised me
a life worth living.
i'm drinking alone tonight
thinking about what i'd say to you if things had been different.
i know you wouldn't have wanted to talk to me
on our special day anyway.
i haven't heard your voice in a year.
i've forgotten what you sound like.
i've forgotten what your love feels like.
happy two years of isolation, love.
YOU ARE READING
poetic rambles
Poetryim not a poet by any means, this is just fun and therapeutic for me and it's easier to post them here than it is to share them with people i know. maybe this will help me build up to that :>
