Fearless Love (Fred Weasley x OC Fanfiction)

twelve: the panic attack

TW: panic attack and talk of self harm

A couple of days have past since the double date with Gipley and Noopey. They were hitting it off great. It was pretty common for me to find Noopey at my house or have Gipley gone because she was with him. I didn't want to know what they were doing.

Today was a dreadful, rainy day. Fred and I just laid around not really doing anything. I caught up on a few of my letter though. I had one from Ginny, Adrian, Lee, and even George. Lee and George seem to be having fun. George said they've been playing a lot of quidditch, but Lee is pretty bad at riding a broom, so Fred and I were a little suspicious. I just thought they might've been writing songs and didn't want to tell us yet, but only the two of them know what they're doing.

The day went by fairly quick since there wasn't much to do. I found my self tossing and turning in my bed when I sprung up and ran into the bathroom. I couldn't stop shaking. The tears were running down my face, but I had no idea why. I huddled into the corner of the bathroom and just sat there.

As I closed my eyes, visions of my nightmare flashed through my mind.

"Fred? Fred, get up," I said to his stiff body. I looked around and noticed we were alone outside The Burrow. I had no idea how we got there or what happened, but I was scared. "Freddie, please open your eyes."

I heard some laughter behind me, but I ignored it until it got closer. I was flung around and the vision in front of me was awful. It was everyone I ever loved dead. Adrian, George, Lee, Nymphadora, my parents, Ginny, and more. I hadn't any idea of what happened until I looked up to see my birth mother maniacally laughing.

My heart sunk in my chest as I saw her start to run towards me. I tried to run away, but was stopped by Fred grabbing onto me. I turned to see his face, but it was covered in blood, but not his blood. "Fred, let me go! Please she's going to kill me," I screamed and pleaded. He wouldn't budge.

"No where to run now," Bellatrix whispered inches away from my crying face. "My pathetic daughter." She brought her wand up and began to cast a spell. "Avada Kedavra!"

I jolted awake after the bright green light flashed through my mind. If I thought I had ragged breathing before, I hadn't seen myself now. I heard someone walking towards me, but I drowned it out. I wanted to drown it all out. God, I wanted to drown myself forever. I hated the pain. I can't do the pain. It's all too much.

Someone grabbed my incredibly shaky hands, but I still didn't know who it was. The more I wanted to look and see who was there, the amount of salty tears I tasted on my lips grew. After trying so many times, I looked up and saw Fred.

He had tears running down his face, just like me. I could see his mouth moving, but I didn't know what he was saying. All I could hear was Bellatrix's laugh ringing through my ears. It drove me mad. I pulled my hand away from Fred and brought them up to hold my folded legs. I stuck my head into my knees and just rocked back and forth.

Fred's POV

It had been so long since I've seen her have a panic attack. I was always there for her, but I never knew exactly what to do. I never knew what caused them, so I didn't know what would be most helpful. I kept trying to get her attention, but I didn't think she was listening to me.

"Stop it! Make it stop," she cried. It killed me because I didn't know what she wanted to be stopped. I lifted her head to look at me. "Please make it stop, Freddie," she cried once more.

"Make what stop, Adelaide?"

"The noises, the voices, the laughs, the feeling, just stop it. Stop it all," she whispered back to me. I could tell she was lucid and responding, but I didn't know if she knew what she was saying. She was a metamorphagus, which meant she felt emotions greater than everyone else. That's why it always scared me when she had a panic or anxiety attack. I never knew exactly what went on in her head.